Tomorrow, I take the GRE. After three weeks of studying*, I still feel horribly unprepared. To make matters worse, I'll be driving from Boston to Worcester in my brother's front wheel drive pickup truck during what is predicted to be a quite hefty snowstorm. Party.
And after the horrible test, I have dinner plans with an estranged former non-boyfriend, which I am much looking forward to, but I have a feeling I will totally awkward him out if I ask to crash at his place so I don't die on the icy roads. Double party.
Yesterday I looked up admissions statistics for the program I'm applying for. In fact, I looked up admissions statistics for all the programs at my school (my place of employment is an awesome college in Boston). It started off okay. 78%, 83%, 80%, 68%. Then I got to the program I want. 38% acceptance rate. 38 flipping percent. There is no way I am getting in. Not with my withdrawing from Creative Writing and failing out of Community Chorus. No. Way.
Anyway, the purpose of all this is to announce my "backup plan". I refuse to admit defeat. If I don't make it into this program, if I don't end up pursuing this particular dream, my spirit will not be crushed by the tyranny of academia, nor the fact that I look terrible on paper.
So I am stating this now, before I bomb the GRE and lose any hope of being a graduate student, before I chicken out and pretend I never made myself this promise. I say this in front of the whole internet, on this blog that nobody reads, that if I don't make it into graduate school, I will run a marathon in 2009.
*Holding the book on my lap and staring despondently at pages worth of math that I'll never figure out
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