No stopping allowed

I have moved!

2010-06-14T10:31:00.002-04:00

You can find me at Sasstastic.net

update

2010-05-16T16:09:00.004-04:00

It seems ironic to quit a blog that's about not quitting...but it might be time to move to different pastures. I'm still thinking about it. I'd like to start a new blog, about all the things I like, and record the exciting and fun things that are coming into my life. But my focus is just all over the place, and the personal blog seems dead.

Yesterday, I tried going for a run. It didn't turn out well. I made it maybe half a mile before the foot started to act up. I turned around and went to an amazing coffee shop and got a "bucket" of "Special". This morning, I did 30 minutes on the bike and another 10 on the ArcTrainer. I've been concentrating on heavy lifting lately, and I love it, but I need cardio or I'll go crazy.

My foot is killing me now. Ace bandaging probably does nothing two months post-injury, huh?

Oh, and I got into grad school. :-)

Just because you don't want to be a quitter doesn't mean you have to be an idiot.

2010-04-28T15:26:00.004-04:00

File this one under "lessons learned"

For the past two years I've been taking graduate classes at the college where I also work full-time. I've taken the courses as non-credit, while applying to the Master's program, with the assumption that, due to the quality of my writing samples, resume, and high GRE scores, I would one day get in to this incredibly competitive program.
Last week, after staying up too late too many nights to finish a presentation, I was sitting home with tonsillitis working on a 20-page paper, and I got a rejection letter. Another one. My second.
Surrounded with books and index cards and storylines, and Chloraseptic spray and salt water, and tea, I will admit, I cried a little bit, and I will not even be ashamed of it. And fever tears hurt.
However, there was a nice handwritten note on my rejection letter from the Director of Grad Admissions. The purple felt pen invited me to come by and see her if I wanted to discuss. So, all cured up on Monday, that's what I did. And so started the kind of day that, when all was said and done, felt like a neatly tied up sitcom ending.
I realized, after talking to her, that I had been pursuing the entirely wrong things for me. It was astounding how off the mark I'd been, and how swayed by the low acceptance rate that looked to me like a big red bullfighting flag with the world "challenge!" on it. That's all. All that reading and writing made me miserable. Stressed. Completely unable to write here, or in my other journal. While I absolutely loved my classes and the things I was able to learn, writing & publishing was not my track, not my passion. Re-ve-lation.
The Director relayed that while my GRE scores were "off the charts" (which, technically, is an impossibility) and all my recommendations were "nothing but glowing" that the committee shared the opinion I was now coming to. I was just not a fit for such a specific program. Then, she handed me an outline of another program she and the committee did think I was a fit for. And it was perfect. I'd already been considering it, before she mentioned it. Because writing, just for writing, isn't my passion, but commuication is. Revelation numbero dos.
I talked to a current student in the program, and that only confirmed that this was something I should at least seriously explore. By that afternoon, I'd gone from panicked to excited.
There was still the matter of my paper. I went and visited my professor in his office before the last class of the semester, and told him my situation. While I loved the class, and everything I had learned, the idea of writing a 20-page research paper "just for fun" was extremely daunting, and depressing. And amazingly, he understood. I'd been agonizing over this particular issue since I recieved the letter. I didn't, obviously, want to be a quitter, the person who dropped a class on the last day of classes. But, just because you don't want to be a quitter, doesn't mean you have to be an idiot. And I am pretty sure idiot gluttons for punishment (a category I fall into more than occasionally) are the only ones who would write a 20-page paper for nothing.
My professor, after a spot of being righteously indignant that I didn't get into the program after two tries, said that based on my work thus far and his knowledge of me as a student (I'd taken two classes with him) he would feel comfortable giving me a B without the paper. He said, quite simply, he didn't believe I would learn anything from the exercise, and would possibly leave the course overwhelmed, stressed out, and bitter. That wasn't his intention when he designed the class. And it just made so much sense. I am now totally okay with not doing the paper.
And all's well that ends well. We chatted about my research, which I actually found quite interesting, so it was like a mini book report, in a way. Then I went to the last class of all, and four hours flew by like nothing.
So, I've shifted my goals significantly, and I'm actually much more excited about my education and career than I was when I was relentlessly pursuing this particular goal. It's like a lot of things. I realize that in my running, I kept relentlessly pursuing the marathon goal, because it was the "holy grail" of running, but kept getting injured and sidetracked. I don't think I will ever run a marathon; it's not for me. And even when I say that now, I still feel a twinge of disappointment. But I realize that my goals reflect just as much about who I am than my accomplishments, and just because a goal is an impressive rite of passage that features on myriad Bucket Lists, doesn't mean it should be mine.
I'll be porting my application over to the other program, and should see, hopefully in a few weeks, if I get in.

Anyway.
On the running front, well, nothing. I re-hurt my ankle last night putting on pants, which either means I need to go to the doctor or just stop putting on pants. Today, I went to the gym for the first time since the tonsillitis, and did my usual "back to the gym" routine of 45 or so squats, which will, as it always does, render me completely incapable of walking tomorrow.
But boy, did it feel good today.

I'm still trying to think of what I want this blog to be, what direction I want it to go in. Obviously, it's not really a running blog anymore, and I'm afraid it will continue not to be. I'm too afraid to go to the doctor in case she tells me to stay off my foot, or that I have to have surgery. Without going, I'm not running, because it feels like all the tiny bones on the top of my feet are crunching together a bit. But, I can bike and I can lift and I can do other things, and without this kind of movement, I go crazy. So it's worth it, for now, to continue moving and forget about running.
But, there are so many other things I'd like to write about. It seems that the personal blog has gone by the wayside, and most folks post about one or two things. I don't want to just write a fitness blog or a grad student blog or even a beer blog, but I'd like to combine these things and other interests in a cohesive way that presents a sort of designed energy. I'll have to think on that one for a bit.

2010-04-12T12:05:00.002-04:00

In just a week, the 114th Boston Marathon will take over my city, and I will love it. I, of course, will not be running it for so many reasons, but I'll be thinking of my friends and thousands of strangers who run while I cheer on my Red Sox from nine rows behind home plate with my favorite Yankees fan.

I still can't run. I'm going stir crazy to the point where I see people doing their longish taper runs before the marathon, in last year's blue-and-yellow marathon jackets, and I feel a white-hot stab of jealousy. Yes, jealousy, that in just over a week they'll be slogging out 26.2 miles of sheer soul-soaring agony, and I will be limping from my little red seat to the Fenway Guinness stand and back. This is utter crazyness. It's been three weeks since my last run. I've pushed through some stationary bike rides, and done so many lightweight front squats that my quads were in searing agony until, oh, about now. My brain's been so all over the place that I've actually seriously considered therapy. THERAPY!
Then I read this. Why.Do.I.Keep.Not.Making.This.Connection?
I used to joke, when I got into the whirlwind, honeymoon, holycrapicanreallydothis stage of running, that I did it because 'It's cheaper than therapy'. And yet I constantly have to keep reminding myself how much it really matters. Seriously, proven-research, MATTERS.
On the way home in the car that night, my purple swollen ankle wrapped in ice bags and on my friend's lap in the back seat of the car, I cried not because it hurt so much (it did) but because, as I whispered I have to run. I can't not run.

I'm not a good runner. I'm never going to run a marathon or an 8-minute mile. But, as I said in my last post, I need this. I really need it. I'm a runner, for better or for worse. Sometimes I hate it, but I need it. Especially now, with some of the emotional stressors that are wreaking havoc on my brain. I miss stopping on the causeway at sunset and laughing. Given the way my foot still feels, I don't get the feeling I'll be running for at least another month. I should probably just go to the doctor, but I'm afraid there's not really much that can be done at this point, and I just need to let it heal on its own. I realize I would be extremely bad at being really injured. Maybe I'm afraid of having to get surgery. Maybe I think that if I jut ignore it, it'll eventually heal or go away.
But I can NOT be sedentary. This is the longest I've gone without consistent exercise for the last two years. So I'm heading to the gym today, and hopefully every day this week. I'll report back on the effects of that, which hopefully will not involve reinjury, at the end of the week.

Pity party, table for 1 please!

2010-03-30T09:51:00.004-04:00

A couple weekends ago, I sprained my ankle. Doing cartwheels. Yes, cartwheels. And yes, I am 29 years old.
Then last night I reinjured my ankle, running for the bus in the rain.
And this morning, I dropped a computer on my head.

I haven't been running since St. Patrick's Day, and that was after a two or three week hiatus due to a mean ol' cold. This sucks. I hate not exercising. It makes me full of crazy.
Today at lunchbreak I might try to hop on the bike for awhile. This is probably not a smart idea. In my current state of stagnation, I am okay with this.

Also, I had a small epiphany. It's really a repeat epiphany, but I don't like to deal with it's enlightenments so I continue to have it over and over again.
If nothing happens to me, if I do nothing, I will have nothing to write about.
Something has got to give.

Chicks dig not being the only chick in the weight room

2010-02-03T11:57:00.004-05:00

After I get out of my ballet class, I hang my coat in a dented locker and make my way back to the "light" weight room. It's been too long - five days, to be exact - since I've hoisted some heavy things. I'm on to stage 2 of NROLFW and can't wait to start off with some front squat/push presses. There's a piece of posterboard with the markered words "WOMEN ONLY FROM 4:30 to 9:30". Normally when I use this gym, a city-sponsored club two blocks from my apartment that costs $70 a year, this room is empty. But tonight, it's hard for me to make my way to the old-fashioned squat rack to grab the bar. This pleases me, for some reason.
This is no Sports Club LA. The Nautilus equipment is newish, but everything else is dusty and there is only one clamp for the barbell, making squats and bench presses even more sweat-inducing than usual. I fear gaining strength, because the dumbbells only go up to 20lbs, and to use any heavier ones, I'd have to go to the "heavy" weight room. We can hear the meathead grunts from the other side of the gym.
The best thing about tonight is the variety of women lifting, pressing, pulling, and laughing. I see several pairs of women guiding each other through a series of moves written out on pads of yellow legal paper. Two older Hispanic women in second-hand track suits take turns doing cable machine pulldowns, one doing her set while the other one dances to the radio, laughing with a toothless cackle.
I hear "excuse me" and "may I work in?" and girls walk considerately around me as I do step-ups onto a bench.
When I jog home in the cold to make sure to be on the couch for the LOST premiere, I feel invigorated and happy, so far from the mess of nerves and blue I was while I was in Florida (yeah, Florida. I'm that ungrateful.)
I need to remember that I need this. I NEED THIS. If I don't move, I will stop.
It's that simple.

Oh hey internet!

2010-01-26T11:16:00.002-05:00

So it's been awhile, eh? I bet y'all thought I'd quit, a'cause of the title of this blog and stuff. Faked you out pretty good, didn't I?
Okay, I jest. I was having a conversation with a friend the other night and we were talking about blogging and I said "Yeah, I used to have a blog about how I quit everything and then I quit writing in it".
Once those words came out of my mouth (and everyone laughed at them because hey, they're funny) I realized how silly that was and so here I am!
I've also been terrible about reading your blogs, but I'll try to be better about that as well. For awhile, I was really trying to avoid internetting at work but it hasn't seemed to up my productivity much, so I'm onto other avenues.

I will be honest, I did kind of quit running for a bit after Falmouth. It's dang cold here in Boston, and I am an unrepentant klutz and fall down enough just walking on ice. So I switched to primarily weightlifting, and I feel pretty darn good about it. In six weeks, I've increased my squat from 50 to 85 pounds and my deadlift from 75 to 115. I feel energized and my clothes fit better and my posture is awesome. I've been following the program from this book, and I love it. The nutrition advice, not so much, but it's really hard to eat that much and get all that protein!
However, I have been itching for another challenge, and courtesy of my friend M, I think I've found it - a wacky 12-person relay race. Timewise, it fits really well with the training plan for the Run to Remember half-marathon, which my friends J & A are planning on running. I ran it last year, and made a pretty poor showing due to major ITB, and that's not going to happen again this year.
Despite how dejected I get at my unshakable slowness, I kind of like collecting those race numbers and sticking them on my wall, dangit.

In addition to all that, I'm taking a ballet class at the L Street Gym on Tuesdays. It's been a long time since I danced, and let me tell you, you think you're in shape from doing one thing and then three minutes of tondues and bourres kick your butt. I did get upgraded from the Beginner class to the Intermediate class after my first Beginner session, but we'll see how that goes. I took ballet for over 8 years and could never figure out what to do with my arms.

My non-fitness related pursuits include banditing grad school for one more semester (11 memoirs in 12 weeks, 11 3-page papers, 1 45-minute presentation, 1 20 page research paper, 1 big "what have I gotten myself into?"), my recent guitar purchase (I used to play and then, big surprise, quit) and mandolin aquisition (it came free with the guitar), and decision to Julie & Julia my way through this cookbook.

Hope you'll join me in my quest to not quit any of these things in the coming year, or quit this blog.

Heart grow fonder

2009-10-19T10:43:00.005-04:00

I've decided that running, like most of my relationships, is best when we don't see each other that often.
After a 3-week hiatus, and deciding I was in winter running retirement (and I mean "retirement" in the Brett Favre sense) I was overcome with the urge to take a quick jog on Saturday. A quick jog turned into a six mile run, at sunset, along the coast. This time, I was rewarded with the sight of a massive cruise ship leaving port and slowly slicing through the water, lit up against the greyblue sky, as I rounded the back of Castle Island. Despite my burning lungs and snot-covered jacket sleeve, I stopped in my tracks and let out an instinctive laugh of pure joy. It's a weird reaction I've realized I have, but it's certainly not bad. During a good, solid, "fast" run, especially around sunset, I often find myself stopping, staring, and laughing. Ahhh, endorphins.
Interestingly enough, after three weeks of not running, I ran a faster 6-miler than I think I have run all summer. Despite a hard wind in my face, despite my face insisting on producing snot rockets even though I have a strict no-snot-rockets policy. I've realized this past year that the less I run, the better I am at it. The bike intervals are really helping my endurance and leg turnover, and the kettlebelling is really helping my leg strength. My calves are killing me, though.

If only I could find a way to stop my nose from running so much, I think I'd run through the winter.

Instead, I'm going to get back to weightlifting. If I can find a time when my little gym isn't so crowded, I'm going to start off with a 2x/week barbell program with squat, bench, deadlift, and overhead press. I'll do the 30/60/90* intervals on the bike twice a week, and possibly throw in at least one kettlebell session. After six weeks of that I'll reassess and come up with a new plan!

*30/60/90 is my new favorite cardio workout. I picked it up, of all places, in Glamour magazine and it's loosely based on some popular class at Equinox. The basic idea is that for the first ten minutes you do 30 seconds hard, 1 minute easy; the second 10 minutes you do 1 minute hard 1 minute easy; third ten minutes you do 90 seconds hard 1 minute easy. It's challenging, fun, and makes time fly by. It even makes the elliptical difficult. I love it, and every week I crank up the resistance just a little. It's fun to see how many more miles I put in for the same 40 minutes.

Has anyone seen my 10-miler?

2009-09-28T10:14:00.002-04:00

Missed it, again. But, I did have a great time tailgating at Foxboro/Gillette and watching a rainy Patriots win.
I am a bit worried about continually missing these long runs. I tell myself it's okay, since I rarely ever run less than 6 miles, and exercise at least 4-5 days a week. I also tell myself it's best to err on the side of caution, since my leg has been hurting after all my runs and I still worry it might be a pre-stress fracture. But it's still not a good way to train, especially if I want to actually finish this one without walking.

Captain Speedypants I am not

2009-09-25T11:13:00.002-04:00

But still, I've been having some fantastic runs lately.
Ah, fall. Perfect running weather, but so tragically shortlived. I can't help but feel a twinge of sadness as I run across the causeway, and see the perfectly glass-like surface of Pleasure Bay. This too, shall pass.
Last week, after my miserable 800s fail, I took some time off from running for the rest of the week. Did I feel a little guilty about missing my scheduled tempo run AND 10-miler? Yes. Yes I did. Especially because it had only 70% to do with "I'm tired" and 20% to do with beer. Or maybe the reverse.
Anyhoo, I've sworn off the track. With my relatively well-calibrated Nike+ system, I can do intervals on the road, which I much prefer to the monotony and wind-in-my-facedness of the Dot track.
Monday night I did an amazing 6-miler, most of which was a tempo run. I'd planned on doing 4 miles at tempo, but was already warmed up from a long walk home, so I set off at a jog and them kicked it up to a 9:45 or so pace for the remainder. When I realized I was about to close in on under an hour, I kicked it up and sprinted up 1st Street towards M Street field to make 6.01 miles at 59:52. When I got to the end, gasping for air and laughing, I was so glad I'd decided to run instead of study (though that decision had me falling asleep in bed reading Montaigne the next night, but I digress).
Last night I did 800s/half mile repeats along the same route, sometimes with a pace under 8:30. And managed to do all 4 of them, each faster than the first. Ending, again, at M Street field. Again, out of breath and laughing, limping up the stairs, and doing some stretches in the grass while the neighborhood men's beer league had their softball championships.
I'm definitely set in my running route ways by now. I love this route so much I can't see changing it, but I know I need to. I have a terrifying 8 mile tempo run on my schedule (UGH) and that is just not going to fit in with my carefully planned out down-the-coast-around-an-island-and-ending-at-a-ballpark perfect running route.
Saturday I'm going to get that 10-miler in.

When life gives you FAIL...

2009-09-10T09:34:00.002-04:00

Last night, after an soul-suckingly unproductive day at work, I went to the track to do my first 800s workout. 4x800. I admit, I was nervous, but kind of excited to sprint out the frustrations of the day.
Fail fail fail.
My target pace was 4:22/800, which is about an 8:45 pace or so. I couldn't even manage that. I got 4:33 for the first one and 4:32 for the second. And then I was done. I just couldn't do any more. 2x800 crap.
It's either my body or my mind that betrays me. I'm not even sure which. But as I was jogging slowly to the start of the lane, giving myself a pep talk that if I could "just do one more, just one, then you can stop" I found myself just walking away. Through the gates, towards the road. And jogging off into, quite literally, the sunset. It's like my mind, through the pep talk, always just makes my body do what it wants.
It took awhile to get my breath back. I walked for a bit. Cursed myself. Wondered if I should just give up on running. If after a year of regular running and exercise, a 9 minute mile still feels like a dead sprint to me, it might just be time to find a new hobby. I'm not exaggerating - a 9-minute mile feels like a DEAD. SPRINT. I'm beginning to wonder if the only reason I did so well in my last 5k is because the course was incorrectly measured.
Anyhoo, I'm walking home all Debbie Downer and blowing my nose on my Ronald McDonald House tech shirt, when I decide on a whim to take off my shoes, jump the short sea wall, and do absolute-top-speed beach sprints barefoot. About 25 seconds each, jogging slowly back to the start, I think I did 5 or 6, and the sun was setting and frankly, it was amazing.
Just what I needed.

I am not going back to school

2009-09-04T08:38:00.002-04:00

Back in possibly December, I mentioned that I was applying to a graduate program at the college where I work. One of the major major perks of working at a college is, of course, free tuition! I'm pretty smart (i.e. I know some big words and don't cross the street into traffic) but I've never been much of a school person. However, I'm much older than I was during undergrad, and felt this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.
During my first year of work, I'd been deliberating over which program I wanted to pursue, and ultimately decided to go for my first choice, Publishing & Writing. This was risky on a couple levels. First off, this program is the most selective in the whole college. Of the 200+ applications they get every year, only 50 or so are admitted each year. Staff doesn't get any preferential treatment in the application process either - we are treated just like any other applicant and have to go through the same process, including recommendation letter, GRE, deposit, etc. I hit several snags in the process, including taking the GRE in a massive snowstorm, not thinking I was going to be able to get recommendation letters in on time, massive writer's block while writing my essay, and realizing via my transcripts that I failed Community Chorus sophomore year of college. Yep. I'd thought that was just some sort of bad recurring dream that I stopped going to a class and forgot to drop it. Not so much. Totally real.
Despite all of that, I managed to make it onto the waitlist in May. However, this past Tuesday I got the little ol' rejection letter. Wah wahhhhh.
I don't feel so bad about it, really. I tried, and I tried HARD. And I'll try again, I think. I can only take three graduate classes before I have to "matriculate or go home", and I've only taken one, so I've got the next year to dig in, get some As, and BFF it up with some of the professors in the department. So that's that.
I'm half going back to school, so I'm half running a marathon.

Yesterday did 4x400 @ 8:20/mile on the treadmill, then out to my friends' new house in the 'burbs to knock down some sheetrock. Which was AWESOME. Who knew I was so great at demolition?
This is why I work out/train/exercise, whatever you want to call it. So I'm the first person my friends think of when they need to knock down a wall. So that my hands are calloused enough from kettlebell swings that I can hold onto a crowbar without wincing and putting on gloves. So that I can knock down an entire wall in the time it takes both my friends to knock down half the same size wall. And so that afterwards, I can confidently walk into the Chinese restaurant down the street wearing jorts and a Doug Mirabelli t-shirt and order two scorpion bowls and still make it to work at 8am.

Here we go again

2009-08-31T12:33:00.001-04:00

And half-marathon training cycle three starts...NOW

http://www.locorunning.com/mainecoasthalf.html

This is kind of what I was afraid of...

2009-08-17T11:32:00.004-04:00

Since Birthday Week, I haven't been quite able to get back the regularity and intensity with which I'd been exercising previously. This is a problem. I'm jittery, and I feel I've started to lose my strength. I haven't gained back all the weight I lost, but I can still feel myself getting flabby and sluggish and weak, and I don't like it.
So, I declare today, and all Mondays to come, Motivation Monday.

This article has been lambasted all over the internet, or at least maybe I just read blogs and sites that would typically lambaste it. They're better at the lambasting, and focus on the general concept and misinformation in the article, but it serves to remind me of why I started exercising regularly and how I now keep it up.

It was hard for me to get motivated to exercise at first because the general motivation for people, especially women, to workout is to lose weight, or because they don't like their bodies. I've never felt that way, so the regularly prescribed elliptical or treadmill boringness just never seemed worth it. When I really started running, it started as a very basic challenge, then eventually grew into a lifestyle. Simultaneously, I was going through a very stressful and difficult time, and realized that running really helped and refreshed me mentally and emotionally. Then, once I gained the confidence to realize I could do things I'd never thought possible (5 miles? seriously?) I branched out to find different forms of exercise that I really enjoyed and that made me feel like a total badass. Now, if I don't exercise, I feel jittery and dull and scattered and generally unpleasant.
On that note, I'm going to the gym to get in a solid kettlebell session for the first time in three weeks. You're welcome, quads.

Happy Motivation Monday! What gets you motivated?

Race report : Falmouth Road Race '09

2009-08-10T14:09:00.000-04:00

Picture this.
It's 6 in the morning on Sunday. Meg and I are waiting for my brother PJ to come pick us up to drive to Falmouth. I've been dressed and ready since 5:15. I'm nervous - but not entirely surprised - that PJ is late and incommmunicado. I love my brother more than anything, but he can be unbelievably irresponsible, and is not a morning person. I'm cursing my good name for not somehow making the impossible possible, and finding an overnight parking spot in Southie so the driving impetus would be on me. I've called him twice. He never picks up though, nobody in my family does. We distrust cellphones and always keep the ringers off.

Finally, he calls. He's frantic, his alarm "didn't go off". He's on the road and says he'll be here in 20. We're already late. Way late. I bite my tongue, remain calm, tell him it's fine. At least he's on the road. I run down the street to the neighborhood bakery and grab coffees and breakfast sandwiches and bottles of water. When I get back, Meg mumbles from her position under the covers that the phone's ringing. It's PJ again. Now he's completely freaking out - "I've just been pulled over, this guy is threatening to put me away. He says I was speeding and I smell like beer."
Again, I bite my tongue and remind PJ that while I understand the logic of not changing one's clothes or showering before running a sunny 7-miler, that if one was out at a party the previous night and spilled beer on one's outfit, one should probably have considered changing before getting into one’s mother’s borrowed car and speeding on the Mass Pike.
I tell him to keep me posted, and hang up so I don't run to the taxi stand and make a cab take me to the general area of exit 22 so I can wring my brother's neck. My nails have left giant red marks in my palms. I go to tell Meg what's going on, but she's in the bathroom throwing up. "Come look!" she shouts "There are bugs in my vomit!"
"Why are you looking at your puke? Stop right now. Flush it."
"It's cool though! Come look!"
"Absolutely not"
PJ calls again. I pick up. He says he can't find the car's registration, and he also might have misplaced his wallet last night so he doesn't have his driver's license. He gave the overly aggressive cop his passport and is now just sitting in the car waiting, in his own mind, to be handcuffed and thrown in the slammer.
At my repeated insistence, Meg finally stops inspecting her own throw-up and flushes the toilet.
I take a deep breath.
I feel like Michael Bluth.

By some bizarre miracle, the cop lets PJ off with just a ticket, which PJ refuses to look at. He arrives to pick us up, and I notice he's wearing the race shirt from the last 5K we did. It's electric lime with the words "Will Run for BEER" printed on the front in purple comic sans. He's also wearing the Cursed Cargo Camo Shorts, which he wore the last two times he lost his wallet and also the time he ran them through the wash with his passport still in the pocket. When I mention this might have something to do with the police officer's attitude, he replies with a string of profanities.
"These shorts need to go. They have to be BURNED."
I suggest a Viking Funeral.

About halfway there, he's certain he's forgotten to bring his bag with his running clothes and shoes. By the time we get to the Bourne Bridge, he's made up his mind to run the entire 7.2 mile course barefoot, in the aforementioned "Will Run for BEER" shirt and Cursed Cargo Camo Shorts. "I have to." he says "It's for the KIDS."

We finally make it, over an hour too late. Of course, we get caught in an absolutely epic cluster-f of traffic, and opt to peel off into a parking lot and run to the meeting place. PJ checks the trunk and realizes he did in fact bring his sneakers. So that's good. Though I think it would have taught him a nice lesson to have to run barefoot. We jog to the house that was designated as a meeting spot for the Ronald McDonald House runners. One of the House volunteers drives us to the buses that drive runners to the start. We run to that too. It's the absolute last bus. The roads are closed and they let us off about a mile from the course start.
We run there too.

After all that, we make it into our starting corrals with the approximately 10,000 other runners, about 5 minutes before the starting gun sounds.
Just because this is all amazingly clutch does not make it okay.
Nor does it make it any less hilarious.

Meg hasn't been training much and has never run more than 3 or 4 miles, but insists she'll finish if she can just stay with me. I'm not sure I can handle the responsibility of being a pacer. She stops to walk at about half a mile, and I tell her she can do it, keep it up, and she starts to jog again. This trend repeats several times over the first mile until she just gives up and I lose her in the thick crowd. I stop and wait for her after mile 2, but she never shows. I get back into the crowd and hope she makes it to the end.

My race was uneventful. After the slow start, and waiting for Meg, and having to walk for a bit due to an excruciating side stitch, I lost my hope for a good time. But, I don't really care. I'm just glad we made it here. I brought my camera and just enjoy the course and the crowds and the frequent water stops and the kazoo & banjo band at mile 6 and the stunning view of the ocean. Before I know it, it's over. This year, I'm smiling instead of crying as I see the American flag fluttering from the crane over the finish line.

PJ made a great time of 1:04. Meg finished before the course closed. And together, with fewer runners than last year's 40, the Ronald McDonald House team raised over $70,000 for the Boston Ronald McDonald House, with more still coming in. This amount helps defray about 1/8 of the House's operating costs for a given year.
Sometimes, in so many ways, making it to the starting line is the greatest challenge of all.

2009-08-06T14:16:00.000-04:00

Tentative half-marathon plans are off - Amy has a wedding to go to that weekend. We're discussing other possibilities, but the truth is, I'm toying with the marathon idea again. I figure, why not? I keep saying I'm going to do it. My original promise was to run a marathon if I didn't get into school, and that's looking sadly likely right now. So, I've start talking myself into catching the marathon bug.
I keep doing this every time I -
a) Haven't run consistently for a couple weeks and conveniently forget how much it really sucks sometimes
b) Realize I don't have anything in particular to challenge me right now and
c) Feel somewhat adrift

Now, in all honesty, is 12 weeks enough time to train for a marathon?

all in good time

2009-08-04T13:01:00.000-04:00

I have again been very remiss in blog posting, and blog reading! Thank you for the comments on my last post - they meant a lot. I've really been wanting to catch up with your blogs, but I have not had internet at home for a couple weeks and I've been trying not to blogread at work (despite the fact that it is 10am and I am most definitely blogwriting at work).

Let's keep it short & sweet & bulletpointed.
-I may be the only woman in America who loses eight pounds because the gym is closed for a week. I had to go to the doctor for something, and they put me on the scale as usual, and did not seem nearly as concerned as I was about this rapid weight drop. The assistant who weighed me, in fact, said "That's good, isn't it?" and if I hadn't been so exhausted and depressed from the previous two weeks and hearing the door open and close at 6am as my roommate D left forever, I would have given her a choice piece of my mind. It's attitudes like this that make me want to kick society in the butt really hard with pointy shoes.
-To add injury to insult, I fell down pretty hard on the sidewalk last Friday, which left me with a painful and kinda gross hand injury that pretty much prevents me from lifting weights (hence the weight loss, I'm assuming). I miss the iron. Wah. I was getting really good too - right before this happened, I was regularly lifting 60lbs over my head. Now I'm going to have to go back down to 40. This is going to be a slow healer.
-My slackage on running makes me worry if I'm going to be able to finish Falmouth this weekend. Luckily, my friend Megan is joining me and she hasn't run more that 3 miles, so I can run with her and pretend I'm being nice.
-My friend Amy has just about convinced me to run another half marathon. In 9 weeks. It might not be the best idea ever, but I may just be crazy enough to do it.

Non-fitness bulletpoints
-A long friendship ended last week, the same day my roommate left. I know it's over because I'm not necessarily as angry as I could be - just done. In a way, I'm almost glad it's over - kind of like the situation with my roommate. The relationship just wasn't healthy for me anymore. It's been sad, and a lot to deal with, but a week later and a nice 5-mile tempo last night and I'm calm as the nighttime ocean again.
-I finally got my act together and wrote an e-mail to the program director of the program I applied for last winter and was waitlisted for. No reply yet, but at least I did it. Better late than never.
-When one door closes, another completely unrelated door opens. My cousin and her awesome boyfriend just got engaged. And a close friend of mine is pregnant. Excitement and newness all around.

confessional

2009-07-21T14:35:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile since I've felt compelled to write here, or maybe moreso known what I wanted to write about. When I started this blog over a year ago, it was out of a desire to keep myself accountable as I began this seemingly impossibly running adventure; an adventure that I'd attempted to begin time and time again with no success. It started as somewhat of a running log for me, but the knowledge that it was public and could be read by anyone somehow kept me on track and accountable. And it really worked. I like to remind myself from time to time that I once struggled to run half a mile and now I feel weird if I run less than five.
I've been online journaling for years now, since before it was cool. I have a Livejournal (yes, a Livejournal) that I've written in for close to TEN YEARS. Back when I started that, it was more acceptable to write in diaryform, to be more confessional and angsty (and at 19, I'm pretty sure we were all confessional and angsty), and today that same Livejournal still serves the same function, with a dash of maturity and wisdom. But just a dash. I enjoy being able to "lock" my entries and know who is going to be able to read what I write. And knowing SOMEONE is going to read it makes me more conscious of the way I write, forcing me to weave a more compelling story with fewer details. I consider myself a private person, yet I throw handfuls of details about my life out into cyberspace for all to see. Maybe it's not so much privacy that compels me, but control - the desire to project a certain image of myself.
There's been a lot of topsy-turvyness in my life lately, most of it not so bad, but I've been leaning mainly on the Livejournal as my outlet, and let this blog slide. Back when I started the LJing, the targeted blog wasn't so popular as it is now. Now, everyone has a "running blog" or a "cooking blog" or a "photography blog", and even the personal blogs are so well-written and controlled and targeted, from what I've seen. And me? I'm all over the place. I say I want to be a writer - and am waitlisted to the best professional writing & publishing graduate program in the country right now - yet I can't seem to force myself to write a coherent and interesting bunch of sentences.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that lately I've been having trouble deciding where I want this blog to go - what do I want it to be? What does IT want to be? What do I want to say, and to whom?
In tandem with that, lately I've been a bit burnt out with the running. I've had what feels like it might be a stress fracture, and it's been bothering me for months. I never seem to get any faster, I keep stopping and walking, I sweat too much, my nose runs, and I KNOW it's not supposed to be easy but keep feeling like some day I'll just tie up my shoes and FLY. So as I dabble in other areas of fitness, I wonder if I'll eventually give up running. If the numbers I've collected on my wall will someday just be enough; if this is just one of my myriad infatuations and that I will just tire of it eventually. And that thought made me sad. It made me profoundly sad. I want this to be part of who I am. And still, like any chronic quitter, there is a part of me that is terrified that one day I will just STOP all of this, and not be able to start up again, because now I know how truly hard it really is.

The gym is closed all week. And it's birthdayweek - I'm 29 years old today - so since last Friday, everyone wants to buy me food and drinkies and cakes and candies. And if I don't exercise, I just don't have the appetite to eat all those things, and it seems like such a waste. Not to mention my mind is all over the place, I'm both jittery and exhausted, and I feel like a slug.
Last night after dinner with a good friend, I took the train home, stuffed full of delicious pumpkin pancake and sangria. I came home to the empty apartment that I share with two boys who were strangers less than a year ago, one of whom is moving across the country in a week and who I am already missing much more than I thought I would. I came home to this home, this lovely home I kind of never want to leave, and I lay down on the floor in the living room and watched the ceiling fan spin, and wanted to do nothing but lay there and stare and let my pumpkin pancake settle.
But somehow, I found myself getting up, tying up my Nikes, and heading out into the dark.

On the eve of my 29th birthday, I flew. I flew along the shore, where the water was flat as glass, the boats barely bobbing, the dark sky collecting up light from the skyscrapers and spreading it out, dimly, between the clouds. I ran by the water, on the most beautiful night this summer has seen, and I didn't stop. I wiped my face on my shirt and blew my nose on my sleeve and I didn't care, and I kept on flying. The night fishermen I passed on the causeway were silent, but they watched me, curious and benign. The city skyline lit up and I turned and breathed it in as I rounded the back of the island. And as I finished those three miles and slowed into a brisk walk, taking off my shoes and jumping the short fence to the sandy beach, I realized : This is really part of me now. This is who I am.

TIART: If I knew then what I know now

2009-06-26T02:06:00.000-04:00

During the toughest middle part of tonight's run, I realized what nobody ever told me about running.
I mean, I know it's hard. Most people say it's hard. And many accurately quote that great line from A League of Their Own - "It's the hard that makes it great. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it."
What I know now, is that it never gets any less hard.
It just gets less impossible.
And hard does not equal impossible. Not at all.

Small blessings this evening, like the sun shining for the first time in so long I think I'd forgotten what it looked like. Six miles around the 'hood and Castle Island as the sun set over the city skyline. Happiness, wheezing, drenched in sweat, and with a raging side stitch.
Ahhhhhhhh.
Life doesn't get much better.
:)

Just for my record

2009-06-23T01:57:00.000-04:00

It will literally not stop raining in Beantown. It's miserable. MISERABLE.

That being said, I went to the track tonight and did 6x400. Same goal of 2:05 per lap.
Here's what happened.

Lap 1 : 2:11
Lap 2 : 2:07
Lap 3 : 2:03 (!)
Lap 4 : 2:06
Lap 5 : 1:56 (!!)
Lap 6 : 1:59 (!!)

Pretty good showing, if I do say so myself.
I was pleased to see other folks at the track. It's tough weather to begin with, but by the shore like we are, the wind comes at you full force on the return straightaway. Brutal. I felt like I was running through water.

Plateful of pain

2009-06-18T09:11:00.000-04:00

Just for my records - my starting weights for the following lifts.

Squat = 75lbs
Bench press = 60lbs
Deadlift = 100lbs
Press = 50lbs
Power clean = 45lbs (just trying to get the form right on this one, it's a toughie!)

Incidentally, power cleans are just about the most fun I have ever had in the gym.

After leaving the gym today, I went straight home and tried to cram in my run. My legs felt like lead. I made it just over 2 miles (instead of 5) and limped home. This is just a case of putting too much on my proverbial plate, I think. I won't run right after squats again.

Speaking of too much on my plate, I had an amazing dinner of steak tips and grilled corn and potato salad and Guinness, courtesy of my roommate. He's flying off to San Diego today for a big interview, and I just know he'll get the job, and I'll be so happy for him/so sad for me. This would make the fourth person I know in the past couple weeks who has gotten a really exciting new job in a very different locale.
The times they are a'changin.

Negative Nelly

2009-06-15T21:10:00.000-04:00

I hate speedwork. I know it's good for me, and I know it'll pay off eventually, but it's JUST. SO. BRUTAL.

Intervals/speed training is the cornerstone of the FIRST program's "Key Workout #1", which I admit, I haven't gotten to since this week (week 3). I opted to do the designated speed sessions from Week 1 so I could ease in and not be too taxed - part of my plan to not go in gung-ho and get myself hurt.
So I trotted down to the track after work this evening, with my shiny new 5K PR gauging what pace I should run the 400s at (2:05)
On the books? 8x400
What actually happened? 4x400
Sucking wind every step of the way.
2:01
2:05
2:06
2:07
The problem with this pace, I found, is that it's pretty much an all-out sprint for me because my stride is so short.

So, new plan. Next week I'll add on two more 400s, then two more until I can actually do the full 8. Then we will see.

So much for a lazy Sunday

2009-06-15T11:05:00.001-04:00

Climbed the Bunker Hill Monument on Sunday. All 294 narrow, winding stairs.

It was there, we were there, it just made sense

My quads are all "WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO US?!?!?!"

Better now

2009-06-12T12:42:00.000-04:00

My sunburn is peeling off and it hurrrrts. I tried putting aloe on it last night and it stung so bad I screamed and had to jump back in the shower and wash it off. If the sun ever comes out again, I am buying the highest SPF spray sunscreen I can find, because 15 just isn't going to cut it this summer.
(Merry, I think you're right about the sun poisoning. Yuck!)

Anyway, last night I did a 5-miler with 3 tempo miles in the middle. And it wasn't hard at all. Either I've been selling myself short (or slow) or I need to recalibrate the ol' Nike+. Or get a Garmin.

In other news, I'm feeling the pull of the marathon bug again. When I set the arbitrary goal of "run a marathon before my 30th birthday", I didn't realize that the reality of the situation is that I'd either have to run a fall marathon this fall or a spring/summer marathon next year. More musings on that later.

Strength training progress : 5x5 bench press @ 60lbs. Definitely switching to a straight-up 5x5 program next week.

Race report and important lessons

2009-06-08T17:12:00.000-04:00

Running as fast as I can - check. Ran the Smutty 5k yesterday with an "official" time of 28:06, six minutes faster than last year, two minutes faster than my personal best, and 50 seconds faster than my "pipe dream" goal. I feel like I put in about as hard of an effort as I could have without burning out or injuring myself. Patty also had a great showing with a time of 23:47, five minutes faster than his time last year as well.
The trouble started after the race. It was a beautiful, hot day by the lake in Newmarket. The free Smuttynose, chili, pizza, and wings were plentiful but as per usual, I wasn't hungry. I have a hard time eating after a hard run, even if I was starving before it, and that's not good. I had a small bowl of chili and a couple beers, and sat in the sun enjoying the day for a few hours. This was also a mistake. I got a horrible sunburn all over my back, chest, shoulders, and even legs. Normally I don't get any color on my legs at all and I certainly don't burn that intensely, but I'm on this stupid medication that makes me even more photosensitive than my Irishy usual.
We were supposed to go to a dinner for our aunt who had just graduated from nursing school, but about halfway there I started getting really disszy, blacking out, and throwing up. I spent the rest of the ride curled up in a ball half-concious. I got home, stumbled up the stairs, and checked my temperature and it was 102, so I took some ibuprofen and passed out at 8:30. It was kind of scary. I don't know what happened, but I do know I have to start eating better. Even if I'm not hungry, I have to eat something after I run.
So now my parents are mad at me, and I still feel like crap. Great.

All in all, I'm very happy with my performance in the race, but not at all happy with my performance in life.

Repeats

2009-06-06T02:02:00.000-04:00

One of the things I thought was so neat when I started running last year, and consequently reading running blogs, was how so many running bloggers would write about their "favorite" races - the local ones they run every year. Time flies, and I am now a couple months past my one-year runniversary, and since I entered about every local race less than 5 miles last summer, I'm bound to start repeating soon.
This Sunday marks my first "repeat" race, and it is a doozy. The Smuttynose/Loco Running "Will Run For Beer" 5k was one of my most miserable and most fun racing experiences. It was scorchingly hot, hilly, poorly marked, humid, and in the middle of the morning. I ran an abysmal 35:12, most of which was walking. My friend Jenna, a first-time 5ker, came in right behind me, swearing liberally. Both my brother and my friend Claire managed decent times, but we all were about to pass out at the end. Good thing there was all that refreshing, frosty beer for us to rehydrate ourselves with. And karaoke. And chili and wings.
Needless to say, I'm excited to go back. This year, things will be different.
Just for funsies, I've set some goals. Goals other than "just finish without passing out".
Baseline goal : Beat last year's time of 35:12
Realistic but difficult goal : Beat my best 5k time of 30:00 flat
Pipe dream goal : 28:50 or less (what the FIRST plan tables say I should be running based on my longer race times, not including this recent half-marathon fail).

Speaking of repeats, I did NOT get up at 6am and head to the track. Probably should have not stayed out so late and gone to Roadhouse Craft Beer & BBQ, arguably the greatest beer bar in Boston. It was worth it for the Racer X.
I have a party to go to tonight, but I'm going to leave early and try to get to the track. I don't know what it says about me that I'd rather be running around in Dorchester in the dark than at a party on a Friday night...

I wish race photos of me did not exist

2009-06-04T15:13:00.000-04:00

Being photogenic is not one of my strong suits. Never has been. And when you add in sweat, pain, ill-fitting tshirts, and a hot sunny day? Very unpleasant.
I'm always so excited to get look at my race photos, because I continue to keep up hope that one day I will be one of those delightful looking people who can look lovely and spry midrace, maybe with a dapper little wave or thumbs up at the photographer. Maybe when I'm older, and closer to the demographic of people who can be called "spry", this will happen. Until then, I must resign myself to being caught mid-breath in an ill-fitting t-shirt and sweat-soaked pigtails under my Trot Nixonated Sox cap.
One upside to race photos is that it gives me a chance to critique my stride and running form, which is always a good time. My stride is always terrible. Either the camera always catches me in the moment where I look like a duck, or I just have a terrible stride and run only from the knees down.

Exhibit A

Anyway, in this one I actually look like a runner, though I still have T-Rex hands.

Make. It. Stop.

And of course, the best part of race photos is looking at the crowd around you. See below. I'm just about to run out of the frame, but get a load of the chick in the back of the pack in this one. She's on her phone. During a half-marathon.

You have got to be kidding me

I fear for the future of the world.

Plans

2009-06-01T22:07:00.000-04:00

I promised my aching hip that I would rest for an entire week after the half-marathon, and that, with much difficulty, is what I did. And you know what? It didn't kill me. I still kept up with my thrice-weekly cardiostrength workouts, but that's about it.

Since today is a new day and a new month and all that, I'm going to take this space to outline some of my summer training goals and plans!

I'm using the FIRST plan to train for theFalmouth Road Race in August. After reading about it and thinking it sounded like a really good plan for me (I get injured a lot, like to exercise mid-day but hate the treadmill, get bored easily, and like really specific workout planning) I decided to get the book. It's actually pretty good. I'm not one of those people who is ever going to qualify for Boston, but the other programs in there are good, and the stories are fun and inspiring. It even makes science interesting!
So, I am going to actually do the 5K plan for Falmouth, even though it's a 7 mile race. My justification is as follows :
a) I want to start off conservatively, instead of jumping into a new plan headfirst and getting hurt like I always do
b) Conservatively or not, the plan has me doing 7-mile midweek tempo runs several times during the program, and some speed sessions should take me close to an hour. Yikes.
c) Last year I had a pretty decent showing (for me) and I hadn't done any speedwork or run more than 5 miles at a time. If I just want to beat last year's time, this should be more than sufficient.
d) I tend to run faster and be more fit in general if I cross-train, especially weight lifting.

In addition to the running plan, I'm also following a beginner barbell strength-training plan, found here on the very informative and awesome GymJunkies.com website. I recently completed his 31 day "shred" challenge (minus most of the diet part because I don't really want to lose weight, am lazy, and love beer too much) and lost 5 or so pounds anyway. The best part though was finally getting over my fear of the weight room...at least for the most part. The second best part was having my hip-based IT band pain almost completely subside after two weeks of strength training.

So there you have it. Structured, simple, and not easy in the slightest (but not grueling enough to keep me limping all through the summer). Just the way I like it.

Tonight's run : 1 mile warmup, 2 miles tempo (@9:34/mile, or something like that), 1 mile cooldown.

Race Report : Boston's Run to Remember half-marathon

2009-05-25T10:51:00.001-04:00

The good news : Finished. Didn't collapse.
The bad news : 2:22:32

A loud thunderclap woke me up at 6am yesterday. Then the lightning came. I got grumpy and slept too late. By the time I rushed out the door, it was actually quite nice out, and during the race it was clear, warm, and sunny. A little too much so at times.

I started off at a 8:15/mile pace for the first two miles, according to the mile splits. Once I realized that, I slowed way down, but the damage had already been done. I haven't run a mile that fast since the 7th grade. Around mile 9 I started walking. Ugh. Most walk breaks I kept to 10 seconds or so, but I walked across the entire Longfellow bridge. My brain just quit on me. I'd be giving myself these great peptalks to keep going, and then my legs would just stop running! I was all "Dude! Legs! WTF!" but they just weren't listening. Neither was my stomach or my lungs. They were all like "Nope. We're donecakes. Mind over nothing."

I'll try and give myself credit since I haven't been able to walk without a limp until about a week and a half ago, and trained through ITBS (dumb), but it's still frustrating.

On the upside, I felt a lot better after this one than after the first. I managed to take a shower and have brunch with my friends and go to a BBQ and not take any naps! Maybe that's an endurance event in itself.

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me

2009-05-21T13:20:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I think Take it and Run Thursday is the only thing that prompts me to write in this blog. Anyway, this week's topic is something very close to my heart. Food.

Foodstuffs that make me feel like a running superhero :
-Coffee. A pre-run cup of coffee makes me fly. As long as I run past some bathrooms and water fountains, of course.
-Bananas. I have developed a great love for bananas. I have two for breakfast every morning, with a handful of walnuts of almonds. It's like a muffin without all the flour and sugar and stuff! And I guess it's true what they say about potassium, I haven't had charley horses lately.
-Fruit in general. I prefer to get my carbs from fruit & veg rather than bread and stuff. I just tend to feel more energetic when I don't eat floury things. This is probably a good sign I should stop eating so much candy.
-Whole wheat pasta and oatmeal, mixed with plenty of veggies (pasta) and peanut butter/fruit (oatmeal).
-Gu. Not necessarily a foodstuff, so maybe it doesn't count, but I would be taking impromptu naps on the sidewalk mid-longrun without these squishy packets of joy.
-Water. Of course. Not just pre and post-run, but all day, constantly, water water water. I like to throw in one of those CVS-brand vitamin C powder packets to boost nutrition and flavor.
And finally...
-Beer. Not as a fuel, by any means, and not in excess, but knowing I have a frosty delicious beer waiting for me at the end of my run really pushes me through that tough last mile. Sorry, I guess summer makes me talk about beer a lot more than usual.

Yesterday's run
"Tempo"
10 minute jog, 20 minutes at tempo pace, 10 minute jog (or 5 min jog, 5 min walk 'cause I almost tripped over someone's dog and then someone else's baby. Sometimes I wish Castle Island wasn't so nice in the summertime)
3.25 miles
10:46/mile
Comments - I've often wondered how you really figure out your "tempo pace", fancy calculators aside. I realize now that if at around 20 minutes of running at said pace you come precariously close to barfing up the handfull of Skittles you ate as your pre-run "carbs", that's tempo. Mine's between 9:15 and 9:45. By the end of the summer it'll be between 8:30 and 9:00. Just watch me.

3 days to go.

Just a girl

2009-05-19T09:43:00.001-04:00

I'm starting to really enjoy being the only deadlifter in my weight room, surrounded by guys doing different varieties of arm curls.

Put up 8 miles yesterday. It should have been more, and I was honestly feeling okay, but I'm still trying to take a conservative approach to my mileage because of the leg thing. Not bad, not bad. Ran the end far too fast, ranging from 9:50/mile at one point to 7:38/mile at another. I didn't even know my legs could move that fast.
Anyway, that was my last long run before Sunday's half. I doubt I'm going to beat my previous time, but it should be a fun experience with a new friend, and then I'm going to do my darndest to rest up before even thinking about marathoning.

Speedy Shorts

2009-05-14T12:15:00.000-04:00

Today's "Take It and Run Thursday" focuses on summer running. I can't even begin to express my joy at the fact that it's finally spring in Boston, that I can run a mile without having to blow my nose or cough up a lung or slip and fall on the sidewalk. I am thrilled.
I am a summer runner. So yeah, I just started running last spring/summer, but after a miserable snot-filled treadmill-bound winter, I know for sure that I am a summer runner. If I ever want to run outdoors year round, I am going to have to move somewhere warm. It's that simple.
One of the things I love about spring/summer running is the motivational power of my Speedy Shorts. I have two pairs of these wonderfully comfy (short, skintight spandexy) "yoga shorts" from Old Navy. I only wear them for tempo runs and speedwork. Because they make me faster. How do they make me faster, you ask? Let me explain.
No matter how good you look in short skintight shorts (and if I do say so myself, I do) you can't just slowly lope around the block in Speedy Shorts. No, you have to earn them. Whenever I think about slowing down or takeing walk breaks during my tempo, I think to myself "Self, you cannot run 10:30 miles in Speedy Shorts. You just can't". And so I don't. Hey, whatever works.

Anyway. I'll round this dose o'random off with some summer running thoughts/tips.

Aside from my Speedy Shorts, these are some of the things I can't live without for summer running. Some obvious, some less so.

-Sunscreen. Duh. At least SPF 55. I love Neutrogena Ultra-Sheer Dry Touch sunblock.
-Water. Also duh. Thankfully, my usual route includes conveniently placed water fountains, or as we call them in New England, "bubblahs".
-The ocean. I'm lucky enough to live by the ocean, and the breeze usually keeps me coolish even during the Dog Days. If it's not enough, I kick off my shoes and go for a little dip at the end of my run.
-A bandana. No need to become blinded by sweat. (As a sidenote, how gross are runners? Really, if it's not snot rockets in the winter, black toenails after long runs, blisters, chafing, and excessive sweating, it's something.)
-The occasional shower beer. In moderation, of course.

I am ridiculously excited about this summer running season, with Falmouth coming up and the possibility of training for my first marathon on the horizon! Now if only I could get a correct diagnosis on this left hip business and start getting faster!

2009-05-11T14:18:00.000-04:00

A couple pretty good runs recently. Last Thursday I did a solid tempo run. 20 minutes of 45 at tempo pace, which is 9:46/mile. It turned out to average closer to 9:30/mile, which was awesome. Yesterday, I cruised home on the bus from NYC in the early morning, went to work and finished up some tasks, went to the gym and KILLED it with some amazing high intensity weight training, and then went home and got in my scheduled 8-miler. Very productive day! Needless to say, that wiped me out to the point that I fell asleep during the nail-biting Celtics game. I woke up at the very end, confused and disoriented, only because I could hear half of Southie freaking out and cheering. Have I mentioned how much I love my neighborhood?

My legs feel surprisingly good. They're sore, but in a satisfying way instead of a limpy, pained, broken way. I took this afternoon off from the gym (don't want two back-to-back days of to-failure squat jumps, even I'm not that masochistic) but will try to get in 4.5 miles tonight, plus perhaps some yoga. The IT band pain is starting to subside a bit, which is kind of odd but very welcome. Trying to be more aware of my body alignment has made me realize I pronate on my left side, bigtime. My knee kind of rolls in. I'm sending back my new Nike LunarTrainers (love them, but my left foot needs more support) and getting the Zoom Elites, I think.
Starting to get really excited about this upcoming racing/training season. Just signed up for Falmouth again!

Why it's nice having training buddies even if you never see them

2009-05-06T13:42:00.000-04:00

NFN and I had set up a googledoc to track our training for the Run to Remember. It's pretty cool - I outlined the plan and made a column for each of us to track what we'd done for training. I just went to update my progress, and noticed that in my Sunday column, next to "12 miles run", she'd written "Nice job!"
That made me smile.
Thanks for the virtual fist-bump, Nat!

2009-05-03T21:02:00.000-04:00

Made it through 12 miles today down by the Charles River. Actually, it was probably closer to 14; I was annoyed with myself for taking so many walk breaks that I got off the T at South Station and did a light tempo run the 2 miles to Murphy's Law. The sub-10 minute mile pace shredded my stomach, for some strange reason.
I am slow. I am still just as slow as I was when I started running, and it annoys me. I am still absolutely wasted from today, and from Saturday's weight workout (I finally gathered up the gumption to go into the Big Boy weight room, only to discover, that like many college gyms, it has no squat rack, just a leg press and a punch of bench pressing stuff. It's always arms day at college gyms) and just took a two hour nap. Lame.
Some strange foreign man stopped me near the end of my run to ask me if it was going to rain today. There were already drops intermittently falling from the sky, so I'd wager yes. But he was carrying a large umbrella and I was wearing a flimsy white t-shirt. Who do you think knows more about the weather forecast, strange foreign man, hmmm?

Oddly, my leg stops really hurting too much after a couple miles. For some reason, I have a feeling this might not be a good thing. Last week I bought The Stick, and have been using it with some success, but my left IT band is now sore to the touch from all the pressure.

2009-04-29T09:45:00.000-04:00

Went to the doctor yesterday. She gave me a kind of cursory once-over and determined my hip issue was probably IT band related. I'm not sure that's all it is, but she's a doctor and while she might have been distracted by the swine flu epidemic, I will listen to her because she didn't tell me to stop running.

This morning, I got up early and went to the track for intervals. I thought the hardest part about this would be getting up at 6am, but I was so very wrong. I gazed out at the seemingly endless expanse of composite rubber and said incredulously to myself "I have to run around that things in 2:05? You have got to be flipping kidding me."
The schedule said 8x400 but I could only muster 4x400. It was both excruciating and exhilarating, and if my legs had been in better shape I think I might have enjoyed it. The left hip issue is causing me to favor my right leg, leading to intense shin and calf pain. Ugh. I am definitely booking a sports massage at Boston Bodyworker.
I limped home and did the 15 minute yoga for runners video. It helped.

My shoes feel like they're going to break, and my toes are going to scrape pavement, at any second. They're only six months old and I'm not a high mileage gal, at any time of the year, much less in the dead of winter. This isn't normal, but this is my body, and these are my feet, and my new shoes are on their way via UPS. With some fancy shmancy insoles. I'se gots to take care of me.

At the track, I noticed two different groups who appeared to be doing some sort of early-morning bootcamp thing. I think I need to get involved in some sort of group activity. I can only push myself so hard.

I hate resting.

2009-04-28T10:03:00.001-04:00

Today I finally go to the doctor about my hip, after almost two months of pain/annoyance/still running on it even though I know it's a bad idea. My doctor will probably tell me to rest it, ice it, not run on it, and I will ignore her. Ignoring sage advice from a medical professional counts more than ignoring advice from WebMD and all your friends, right?
No, I won't really ignore her. But I'm going to keep my fingers crossed and hope "resting" isn't the only answer to this problem. I don't want to rest. The annoying thing about resting is that when I come back to running, it's like starting all over again. Since this quasi-injury, I haven't been able to consistently maintain a sub-10 minute mile pace for any distance. It's frustrating. My goal this summer is to start consistently running 9-minute miles, but it seems like such an unreachable goal at this point. My legs feel like lead.
On the upside, I shouldn't consider this "the summer" just because it's suddenly 90 degrees outside. That's a fluke. I'm getting ahead of myself.
The Run to Remember is in less than a month. Tomorrow, I am going to get up at 6am and run repeats at the track. Yes, I am. I have never done this before but I am going to give it the old college try.
Unless the doctor tells me to rest. In which case, I'll start resting on Thursday.

I am a terrible blogger...and runner

2009-04-22T12:27:00.000-04:00

Monday was the 113th running of the Boston Marathon. Growing up, I always thought it was kinda neat, but now that I've started running and more importantly, started reading running blogs, I realize what I big deal it is. This was the first Marathon Monday I've been able to really enjoy, since I took the day off work to go to the Sox game and then spent the rest of the day out with friends watching runners go by, eating crappy appetizer platters, and then watching both the Bruins and the Celtics electrify the city with their respective wins.
We were situated in SRO on the Fenway roofdeck, which was terrible, vantage-wise, but actually quite good to watch the marathon. We got to see the elite race, though from far away, and I honestly can't even fathom how fast these people are going, even when I'm seeing it with my own eyes.
The Sox routed the O's to the tune of 12-1.
I followed the progress of my roommate, his friend, and several other pals via my friend's iPhone. He finished in under 5 hours, more than an hour more than his time last year, but considering he hardly trained, and that is a freaking MARATHON, good on him.
There was a trash can overflowing with empty cups and a spent pair of Asics. I wish I'd had my camera. That was a perfect representation of how a runner sometimes feels after a race.
Last night, there was a mother in a marathon jacket doing pullups on the T with her kids. I want to be her when I grow up.

I haven't been running. I've still been conditioning with some pretty hardcore cardiostrength, but my hip got so bad I could barely walk so I stopped being stupid and stopped running. After taking it easy, it's much better. I can actually walk with only the slightest of limps! I think it's bursitis, and I'm going to the doc next week. She's a triathlete, so hopefully she'll be able to give me some advice. It just occured to me that I might be feeling unbalanced because I've been carrying around the Chicago Manual of Style all semester. That'll all end soon. Hopefully, I'll heal up soon and be able to get back on the road soon.

Big high fives all around to everyone who ran, finished, and volunteered on Monday. I hope to be there someday.

And on the 8th day...

2009-03-31T10:43:00.000-04:00

...God created foam rollers.

Hello, blogosphere. Long time, no write. I know I know. All two of you must have wondered where I was. Anyhoo, here's the deal. I got all hurt and depressed again and did the whole "boo, I'm just not mean to be a runner" thing. This time, it's my left hip. I was all cranky and whiny and about to give up, when my roommate introduced me to the wonder that is the foam roller. Now, whatever is wrong with now the entire left side of my body is probabaly a combination of muscle tightness, ligament wonkyness, and teensy stress fractures. Though I am not a doctor. However, when I was rolling it out, I could feel a ridiculous knot the size of Rhode Island. After rolling over it for awhile, I got up, and no more pain!
It still comes and goes, and is particularly bad after a run, but I think if I just keep rolling and stretching, eventually my body will learn to deal. I hope.
For instance, I missed by 9 miles this week, but did 3 yesterday, and was pretty fast if I do say so myself.
But now the hip hurts like the Dickens.
Sigh.
It's an adventure, that's for sure.
I also think I need to get new shoes. It's been about 6 months, and while I know I haven't run 600 miles on them, I also know I tend to start needing new ones at around 200 or so. And I've been wearing them while weightlifting so that probably added to the wear & tear. I think I'm going to go for some new Nikes, but not the Pegasus. I might try the Moto or the Vomero this time.
Peace out.

Back to reality

2009-03-18T13:42:00.000-04:00

The much-anticipated Jamaica trip zoomed by so quickly, and now I'm back to the regular grind. All-inclusive is the best thing since Guinness and cupcakes, and I spent a beautiful, sunny, relaxing five days sitting by the cliffs and soaking up the sun's rays through a thick coat of SPF 45. I stumbled back into Boston and right into visiting friends, sightseeing, and then a rather debaucherous St. Patrick's Day weekend in Southie (it's everything you'd imagine and more).
Needless to say, I didn't get much (if any) training and exercise in until yesterday, when I hit the gym with a vengeance. Half-marathon training is back on full force, and I couldn't be happier. Yesterday and did a 25 minute kettlebell circuit, and then when I got home after my evening stint at the Ronald McD House, I decided it would be the perfect bad-decision cherry on top of a bad-decision sundae to run around Southie in the dark. I'm alive, and well, and that four miles put me on top of the world.
Tonight is my first track speed workout! Hopefully I'll be able to get access to the local track. I'm looking forward to it.

TiaRT : The sins of the runner...

2009-03-05T14:47:00.000-05:00

This week's TiaRT theme is "Common mistakes and cardinal sins of running", and boy do I sometimes feel like I spend every LongRunDay in the running confessional booth.
Whenever I do, it's always because I have broken one of these Running Commandments. Some of these I think are universal, and some are definitely specific to me, but whenever I think I can ignore them, that's when I end up in trouble. I have broken every single one of these bad boys and paid the price.

The Ten Commandments of Running

Thou Shalt Stretch Properly So many of us forget this crucial, important step, yet it makes all the difference in the world if done properly and regularly. For instance, I broke this one yesterday because I wanted to get out of the gym and to dinner, and now my poor hammies are paying for my sins.

Thou Shalt Have A Plan Especially if training for a race, especially if a beginner. Yes, some folks can get out there and just run, but the rest of us need some words and numbers on some paper to tell us what to do, how to do it, and why we are doing it, in order to reach our goals smart and safe. And heck, it's fun to track your goals and progress.

Thou Shalt Not Get Ahead Of Thyself Even with a plan, it's tempting to try to push yourself. You feel good! You're all chock full o' endorphins! Think you can tack on a couple extra miles to your Long Run? Don't. Bet you can run it at your tempo pace, maybe throw in a couple sprints? Don't. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. When you end up sleeping for 12 hours straight and eating an entire box of Cheez-It snack crackers in one sitting, you'll know what I mean. And that's the best case scenario.

Thou Shalt Respect The Sanctity Of Thy Days Of Rest Especially if you are training for a long distance race, you must take your days of rest as rest days. Not cross training days, not easy run days (unless prescribed) but rest days. Unless you like stress fractures and exhaustion.

Thou Shalt Wear Proper Footwear If you have not yet done so, get thee to a reputable running store staffed with knowledgable and infinitely patient employees and get fitted for your perfect running shoes. Don't scrimp on your sneaks. Replace them when necessary. Learn to listen to your tootsies - the prescribed shoe-replacement suggestions are all well and good, but your feet being sore and tingly an hour after a run is a better indicator.

Thou Shalt Properly Hydrate And Fuel Water is good. Drink it. If you don't, you'll get dehydrated and bad things will happen. If you run long, salt or electrolyte tabs are probably good. During races, carry Gu or Gel or whatever floats your boat. Be smart about pre-run food, depending on your likes and dislikes and the distance you plan to run. Nothing spicy (incidentally, did you know gazpacho tastes the same coming up as it does going down?)

Thou Shalt Listen To Thy Body Be smart. There is a difference between running through a side stitch or fatigue and trying to run through a shooting pain in your leg "hoping it'll go away." I think you know what that difference is. No amount of teeth-gritting or mental toughness can will away a stress fracture or ITBS or a torn ligament. It can only make it worse.

Thou Shalt Respect Weather Conditions Okay, many of you are total badasses. You strap on your YakTraks and run 10 miles in the snow. You run in the rain. You run in thunderstorms. You run in 90 degree heat and humidity. We all have our limits. I personally don't run on ice, and I always have to remind myself not to run my favorite route (around Pleasure Bay in Southie) when it's cold and windy, because the wind has literally picked me up and hurled me against the fence when I get over the open water. If you are going to be all awesome like that, dress appropriately for both heat & cold, and HYDRATE in the heat.

Thou Shalt Cross Train Best thing I ever did, cross training. There are many many running purists, so this is just a personal preference, but cross training, especially weight training, has improved my running and general fitness 1000%.

Thou Shalt Enjoy Thyself Running isn't always fun, and it certainly isn't easy (what sadistic person came up with the term "easy run" anyway?), but it is infinitely enjoyable in all its aches and pains and hardships. Always remember to enjoy yourself, celebrate your accomplishments and those of your fellow runners, and pat yourself on the back every once in awhile for a job well done.

If a speedwork session is done on the treadmill and noone is around to hear it...

2009-03-05T01:48:00.000-05:00

First speedwork session EVAR today. 2 mile jog and then 4x400 @ 8:34mi. Not too bad. I have to say, I think I kinda like it. I certainly felt great when it was over.
But does it count if it's on a treadmill? Team Legs 'n' Lungs say YES.
When it gets warmer, my bum will be at the track.

Also at the gym I ran into
-my boss, right after I told him I was trying to get out a few minutes early
-one of my work study employees, in the locker room
-one of my grad assistants, also in the lockers room.
Awwwwwwksmo.

Today's workout (see above)
2 miles @ 10/mile
4x400 @ 8:34/mile
2min jog/walk breaks between intervals
Total 40 min running
3.6 miles or so

Benchmarks

2009-03-03T16:12:00.000-05:00

I have a very haphazard weight training regimen. Actually, that goes for my overall fitness in general. I don't track my weight training, running, human-sized-hamster-wheeling (elliptical), or whatever other weird stuff I do in the gym. The only way I know I've made progress is because I've outgrown all the dumbbells & the largest body bar in the aerobics studio/nautilus part of the gym. I'm too afeard to even ask if there's a grown-ups weightroom in the back, which I suspect there is. Some days, I randomly choose a weight based on what happens to be laying around on the floor. Hence, I generally don't have any clear way to measure my progress, except "I feel better", or "I can lift that now" or "I can run three miles without vomiting".
When I first started working out, I could barely do 15 crunches. I couldn't hold plank pose to save my life, and was plagued with back problems from standing around in bad shoes all day without a strong core to help balance me.
Today, I did full straight-leg lying-flat-to-sitting-up-straight situps, holding 17lbs of iron over my chest. That's my benchmark, right there.

Ask and ye shall recieve!

2009-03-01T21:35:00.000-05:00

A big thank you to everyone who stopped by and left advice regarding my running buddy "cold feet"! It was all so useful, and I never would have thought of it myself.

Today I'd planned on doing a longer run to get in gear for training, but the weather didn't cooperate and I ended up doing an hour on the elliptical instead, telling myself it was better than nothing, which it is.

According to the Weather Channel, the snow is about to come dumping down on Boston, and I'm hoping I don't have to go to work tomorrow.
And I'm awful glad that this time next week I'll be in Jamaica!

TiaRT: Burning questions

2009-02-26T17:10:00.000-05:00

This week's TiaRT is turning the tables and letting us and ask questions of our fellow running bloggers. Since you guys have unknowingly bestowed upon me such invaluable running wisdom during my almost daily lurks on your blogs, it is kind of appropriate that I want to pose a question about running buddies.

Last night, I met up with New Friend Natalie, who I am running a half-marathon with in May. It will be the second for both of us, though she has also run a marathon. It will be my 12th road race, and the first one I've ever trained for with someone else.
Over dinner, we chatted about speed workouts and long runs and race shwag, and it was all very exciting to think about. However, now I am starting to get a little nervous. My first year of running was entirely solo, save for races and the one time I ran with my brother for about a mile until his IT band acted up.
So many of you talk about your running pals and support groups, and it all sounds so great, but what happens when one pal is significantly faster than the other? Is it a hindrance to the faster pal, or a painful annoyance to the slower?
My question to you, oh wise running bloggers, is how do you make your running relationships work?
Signed,
Commitmentshy

Dreaming of springtime

2009-02-24T12:42:00.000-05:00

Long time, no blog!
Also, kind of long time, no run.
I haven't really managed more than 2 or 3 miles lately. I am hanging my head in shame. I've still been on a pretty decent regular exercise kick, including high-intensity cardio (albeit in short bursts) and lifting/swinging around relatively heavy things.
The other day I switched up my 30 minute kettlebell routine by subbing jumprope for the usual jumping jacks. It way ramped up the intensity, and I much prefer the rope to the jacks, since JJs make my right knee feel funny. I left the gym dripping sweat.
The next day, it wwarmed up over 33 degrees, so I thought a jog around the bay would be a great idea. I started nice and slow, and was clipping along at a good pace, but suddenly around mile 2 my legs just QUIT. Below both knees, my entire shin/calf/ankle/foot area was on fire. The pain seemed to undulate between muscular and skeletal, sometimes numbing random portions of my foot and causing my right leg to literally collapse out from under me. For awhile, I tried to keep running. Stupid, right? I know. Anyway, after I finally came to my senses and stopped running, I limped around the causeway and back home. So much for the six miles I was planning.
I spent the next day and my roomie's New Orleans party limping around the house and drinking medicinal bloody marys. After some thought, I realized it might have been the jumping rope that did me in. That's a lot of pressure to be bouncing off the balls of one's feet for that long.
I did some stretching and backed off on the exercise for a couple days. Today I got back on the treadmill, and felt okay, but the legs still hurt a bit. I'll have to take it one day at a time.
While I know googling ailments is a terrible idea and slippery slope, my symptoms do sound an awful lot like compartment syndrome. I suppose it couldn't hurt to talk to, you know, an actual medical professional (as in no Dr. Internet) about it.

Becaaaaause, I have decided to run another half-marathon in May before running my first marathon in September! That's right, I decided on a marathon.
May - Boston's Run to Remember. I'm going to do this one with my friend Natalie, and am interested to see how training goes with a buddy!
September - The Rochester Marathon! This decision was pretty easy, seeing as right after I was musing on it, two of my old college roomies got in touch with my through the wonder that is Facebook, and one of them lives in Rochester (as does my best friend, our third roomie). The fourth one said that if she can, she'll be there too, and we can all have a reunion on marathon weekend! It would mean so much to me to have them there. So, I'm excited.

Hopefully my legs won't fall off!

Anything you can do, I can do more awkwardly.

2009-02-09T22:26:00.001-05:00

So today I ripped my underpants at the gym
Yeah, that's right.
Ripped my underpants. By accident. By sheer force of the awesomeness of the squat.
See, as tough as I am, I like to wear sassy pink underpants pretty regularly (today's pair, upon further inspection, were hot pink with pink lace inlays in the front and navy blue hearts on them. No big deal.) Anyway, I was in gym on my lunch break today, and I was at the bottom of a squat and suddenly I felt this *ping* around my right hip and realized that the lace inlay on the right side of my underpants had ripped and left me with disconnected undies.
Luckily, I was wearing really tight pants which kind of salvaged things, and I finished my set before making a hasty exit to the locker room.
Good times.
This kind of stuff only happens to me. And aren't you glad, all three of you who read my blog, that I come here and write about it?

Yes. Yes you are.

Marathon musings

2009-01-31T14:05:00.000-05:00

I haven't been able to go to the gym all week, and it's been making me kind of crazy, so last night I decided I was going to go for a run. The 30ish degree air felt pretty tropical compared to how it's been lately, and I set out on my usual route. I was just going to run up the coast and loop back, but I noticed that the water by No-man's land was eerily flat and undisturbed, so I decided to just go for it and brave the winds of the causeway since it looked like they'd be pretty mild. There was not a single living soul for about a mile and a half, probably because the ground was scattered with patches of snow and black ice. But, the wind was indeed very mild and didn't throw me against the chainlink fence like it usually does, and I got to see that amazing, heart-melting view of the city skyline across the bay.
I was feeling pretty good, and when I got back to L Street I checked my time on my iPod, and was shocked to see that I had recorded an average 9:12/mile. That's a full minute per mile faster than I was running a couple months ago, and I've only really run outdoors once since the half-marathon. I guess I have to attribute that to all the squatting and deadlifting and HIITing with the occasional Tabata-til-I-almost-puke session. So it is possible to condition for running without actually running!

Now I'm trying to decide which marathon I'm going to run.
Option 1 : Vermont City on May 24.
Pros : It's supposedly a beautiful course, I think May weather would be kind of ideal, it's sponsored by Ben & Jerry's and I would get free ice cream at the end. I could train with Dennis & maybe Bryan while they're training for Boston. It's not too far away. I could get it out of the way before the summer really starts.
Cons : I'd have to start training on Monday. This Monday. Next Sunday I would have to run 10 miles, and it'd only go up from there. I have a very hard time running the cold, meaning below 35 degrees. Weather would undoubtedly derail my plans at least a few times, as would some travel I have planned for February & March (I can run in NYC, but probably not in Jamaica).

Option 2: Montreal Oasis Marathon on September 13th.
Pros : Also supposedly a beautiful course. The food is supposed to be spectacular. It was mentioned in a Runner's World feature as a suggestion for those who wanted to run a European marathon but didn't want to have to actually go to Europe. I wouldn't have to start training until the end of March, which would be ideal. I love running in the summer. I'd be able to integrate a bunch of the other races I want to run (Smutty 5k, Thompson Island, James Joyce Ramble, Falmouth, etc) into my training. It's also not terribly far away and my parents would probably come with me. I could get it out of the way before school really gets going in the fall.
Cons : It might be difficult to train that much in the summer if I'm taking classes, since summer classes are four hours/two nights a week for 6 weeks. And I'm just being realistic here, but I don't know how hardcore I can actually train during baseball season.

Option 3 : Rochester Marathon on September 13th.
Pros : It's in Rochester, and I would get to see/stay with my Lunchbox and she could come meet me at the finish line and give me a big hug. That pro is so significant that none of the cons really matter.

Option 4 : BayState Marathon on October 18th.
Pros : Most obvious, it's very close to home, in Lowell. I wouldn't have to travel or stay overnight anywhere, and I could get there by train. Of course, dad would probably insist on taking me. I could make all my friends & family come cheer me on and make goofy signs. Wouldn't have to start training until April. It's a really flat course, and not that I can't handle hills, but it'd be nice to not have to deal with them when I'm running that freaking far. October is generally pretty perfect running weather.
Cons : It's in Lowell. Again, I don't know if I can train that hard during school (or baseball season). I kind of want to run the Manch half-marathon again and doing that a month after this is pretty ambitious.

So there are my options.

2009 Crazy In A Good Way : Update

2009-01-27T20:01:00.000-05:00

1.) I'm going to Jamaica for 5 days over spring break. I have never been, and I can't wait. It's going to be sunny and relaxing and fabulous. I booked the trip just this past weekend, and it's kind of weird that I chose Jamaica given how much I hate drugs and reggae, but I felt that it was just calling to me.
It's amazing how easy it is to save up a little money and then immediately spend it.

2.) I just realized that if I start a typical 16-week marathon training program this coming Monday, the end will coincide exactly with the Vermont City Marathon, which happens to be a mere 3 hours drive away. Will muse on this later. Can't decide if I want to do a spring marathon or a fall one, need to make some pros & cons.

3.) The people in my gym continue to amaze & amuse me on a regular basis. I have no reason to be ashamed of my high-rep kettlebell snatches and H.I.I.T. sweat sessions when there are guys dressed in jeans and cowboy boots Riverdancing away, girls performing their own one-woman step class, ballerinas in legwarmers, and two dudes boxing with each other all in the middle of the same aerobics studio.

Yesterday's workout
8x20sec/1min intervals on bike (no more stationary bike for me. not a fan of bikecrotch.)
4x12 sumo squat with 12kg kettlebell, switching l/r
4x12 one-arm rows with 12kg kettlebell, switching l/r
4x10 military press with 8kg kettlebell, switching l/r

bunch of swings & snatches, alternating l/r

sickasadog.

2009-01-14T12:50:00.000-05:00

So I made the mistake last week of saying "Gee, I haven't been sick ONCE this winter. Amazing!" and the promptly came down with the black lung. This has everything to do with karma and saying the above out loud, and nothing to do with the fact I spent the majority of my winter vacation drinking too much and staying out 'til all hours and jumping into Boston Harbor on New Year's Day. But nope, it's just the karma.
I got to the gym on Monday and did some light cardio (35 minutes on the elliptical, ugh) and my Hundred Pushups Challenge week 2 day 1. Then I did four sets of 10squats with the 12kg kettlebell, at which point I think I pulled something in my back. Good times. I might try and eke out another workout today, but I am really feeling narsty and may not even last through the day at work.

I've been really missing running lately. I'm even itching to get back on the treadmill. It feels like it's been forever, even though it's just been the week. Oh running, absense makes the heart lose track of the time/space continuum. Or something. Sickness aside, this was probably not the best week to hoss up and try running outside, what with the temperature flirting with zero and the wind chill knocking my teeth out of my face and all. Next week, if I feel better, I will get out there.
Since I'm already operating on the assumption that I'm not getting into grad school this go 'round, I've started casually looking at marathons for the summer.
Insanity!

These are the people in my gym-orhood

2009-01-07T17:30:00.000-05:00

Since we're still on break, the gym is blessedly free of awkward undergrads and lots of people I work with who I don't necessarily want to see me in my sweatshorts (nor I them, in their sweatshorts). It is not, however, free of "characters".
Today's highlight was a slightly older gentleman who I see frequently. Judging by his age and sweet 80's-mullet-lite, I'm guessing he's probably a Media Arts professor or something. Anyway, he refuses to pull back his lionesque mane with a hairband, and runs quite quickly on the treadmill without moving his arms at all. Today I noticed he was actually holding 5lb dumbbells by his sides, running bolt upright, probably faster than I was running. Huh. I mean, hardcore, but strange.

Today's workout :
4x8 sumo squat with 12kg kettlebell (alt right and left arm)
2x30 Russian Twists with 12kg kettlebell
5min warmup on treadmill, 20 min tempo run at 9:13/mile (woohoo!), 5 min cooldown
Week 1 day 2 of the Hundred Pushups Challenge - 6,8,6,6,7 with 90 sec rest between each set.
I couldn't quiiiite finish the 7th rep on the last set but it was a good effort.

Wimpery

2009-01-06T14:11:00.000-05:00

Okay, so after finally catching up on my Google Reader and reading so many blog posts about running in the winter in crazy places like Michigan and Maine and basically Antarctica, I realized I am a wimp and today I am going to buy some Yaktraks at the Eddie Bauer outlet. Maybe also some heavy-duty hat and glove action. And a headlamp.

It's been awhile

2009-01-05T15:09:00.000-05:00

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever. I also haven't really run in awhile, but no worries, I've been getting in some alternate workouts and devising a plan to get myself in prime shape by the time it gets warm enough for me to go run outside again.
Since much has happened, I'm going to throw down a couple trusty old bulleted lists to outline both past and future!

*Stuff that has happened*
-Took the GRE. It wasn't so bad, except for the fact it was on the same day as a GIGANTIC SNOWSTORM. I had to rush there since they were closing early. Prelim scores show me as being in the 96th percentile in Verbal (whoo!) and I don't care about my embarassing Math score. Writing scores are on their way. On the way home, I wiped out on the snowy highway at least 20 times and thought I would have to sleep in a parking lot.
-Saw my family, including the most adorable baby cousin ever, Joey.
-Hosted a little beer & chocolate tasting with my bro at Christmas dinner, which was a surprisingly big hit.
-Did a couple of kettlebell workouts from LiftKettlebells.com. I can't recommend these highly enough. If you're interested in kettlebells and know basic form, these two free audio workouts (either a 20 or 30 minute session) are intense, quick, simple, and incredibly well cued. Excellent.
-Drank too much beer and didn't eat well. Will look into fixing that.
-Made some new friends in the neighborhood.
-Hung out with some old friends I hadn't seen in awhile.
-Most importantly and awesomely, I started off 2009 with a dip in the Harbor with the L Street Brownies. It was seriously one of the most ridiculously life-affirming and joyful experiences I have ever had, though I still can't quite feel my toes. Next year (and yes, I am doing it next year, for sure) I am going to wear shoes. It was a balmy 8 degrees Fahrenheit with a wind chill of -11 or something.

*Stuff that is happening*
-Since I just can't manage to bring myself to blow snot rockets, I'm not running outdoors when it's below 35 degrees OR when the sidewalk is a solid sheet of ice.
-I am still going to do at least two treadmill runs per week, mainly tempo runs of around 20 minutes (plus warmup and cooldown). I'm going to try and keep them under a 9:30 pace.
-In addition, I'm going to try and do two HIIT sessions a week. That stuff makes even the elliptical into an intstrument of torture. Holy cow.
-Every weekend I'm going to get in at least an hour of cardio, whether the bike, elliptical or treadmill walking. If it's warm enough, I'll do a "long" run of 5 or 6 miles.
-Finally, I am going incorporate more weight training. I started the one hundred pushups challenge today.
-And I'm going to post all my boring workouts in this blog, forcing me to say something interesting whenever I work out. Let's get this party started.

Today's workout
HIIT on elliptical : 5 min warm up, 8 x 20 sec hard & 1 minute easy, 5 min cooldown
Hundred Pushups Challenge : Week 1, day 1. 6, 6, 4, 4, 6
Other : Captain's Chair. I have never used this instrument of torture and I'm not entirely sure I did it right, but I tried 3 sets of 12 and felt pretty tired after that.

Not so consolation prize

2008-12-18T20:37:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, I take the GRE. After three weeks of studying*, I still feel horribly unprepared. To make matters worse, I'll be driving from Boston to Worcester in my brother's front wheel drive pickup truck during what is predicted to be a quite hefty snowstorm. Party.
And after the horrible test, I have dinner plans with an estranged former non-boyfriend, which I am much looking forward to, but I have a feeling I will totally awkward him out if I ask to crash at his place so I don't die on the icy roads. Double party.

Yesterday I looked up admissions statistics for the program I'm applying for. In fact, I looked up admissions statistics for all the programs at my school (my place of employment is an awesome college in Boston). It started off okay. 78%, 83%, 80%, 68%. Then I got to the program I want. 38% acceptance rate. 38 flipping percent. There is no way I am getting in. Not with my withdrawing from Creative Writing and failing out of Community Chorus. No. Way.

Anyway, the purpose of all this is to announce my "backup plan". I refuse to admit defeat. If I don't make it into this program, if I don't end up pursuing this particular dream, my spirit will not be crushed by the tyranny of academia, nor the fact that I look terrible on paper.

So I am stating this now, before I bomb the GRE and lose any hope of being a graduate student, before I chicken out and pretend I never made myself this promise. I say this in front of the whole internet, on this blog that nobody reads, that if I don't make it into graduate school, I will run a marathon in 2009.

*Holding the book on my lap and staring despondently at pages worth of math that I'll never figure out

TiaRT : My running year in 52 words or less.

2008-12-18T17:34:00.000-05:00

Today's theme for "Take it and Run Thursday" is "A year in review in 52 words or less." After handing in my final paper earlier this week, this is much more my style of word limit.

Newfound love of running long distances and lifting heavy things, not at the same time.

Goal of "one 5k" turns into "four 5ks, three 5-milers, one 7-miler, one 4k trail race, and one half-marathon." And a partridge in a pear tree.

Former unambitious slacker now applying to graduate school.

It's all connected.

pushups are hard. so are fractions.

2008-12-17T16:43:00.000-05:00

It's kind of weird, but I've started to really enjoy going to the gym. I used to hate the gym, I mean really really loathe it. This is another strange turn of events this year, like running 13 miles, and going back to school, that I really never ever saw coming from me.
Anyway, I think it all comes down to finally getting away from the "chick" sensibility of the gym, and getting the heck away from the hamster wheels of death (elliptical - major ew, treadmill - also ew but necessary evil in the winter) and wimpy nautilus machines and instead playing with all of the fun gym toys. I've kind of started to look forward to my lunch break workouts like I used to look forward to recess when I was in the 3rd grade.
There's a big aerobic studio, which is only used at certain times of the day. I plan my lunch break around the empty times, and haul in a couple kettlebells, and kick my own butt for 20-30 minutes straight. Just 5 minutes of kettlebell swings, pushups, and light-weight overhead squats (my new favorite thing) and I am sweatier than I am after a 9 mile run. It's awesome. And gross. But only gross because I feel like I'm supposed to think it's gross. Mostly it's just awesome.

This afternoon, one of my faculty caught me in my office ravenously eating peanut butter out of the jar with a plastic knife. He was mightily amused.
I need to stock up on some more self-contained protein-rich snacks.

Anyway, back to studying for the GRE.
There is no way I am going to learn all of this before Friday. FRIDAY.
When did THAT happen?
Ugh.

Seasonal affected disorder

2008-12-15T13:19:00.000-05:00

Okay, I really thought that I was pretty entrenched in "the loop" of any crazy running-related shenanigans around these parts. Apparently I was mistaken.
How come NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS? Not a PEEP? I would have been ALL OVER THIS in my yellow (sorry, I only have one) bathing suit and Santa hat. Jeez.

Clearly, I need to keep my ear to the streetz from now on, lest I miss any more top-notch shenanigans.

You know what I'm not going to miss though?
This.

I officially dub 2009 the year of "Crazy in a good way".

I went that way

2008-12-08T10:30:00.000-05:00

Sitting on my couch yesterday afternoon, feeling grumpy and drinking my fourth cup of coffee of the day, I turned my head to the right just in time to see a girl running down K Street. So I thought to myself, "that could be, nay, should be, me!" And despite the cold and the first snow of the season (whee!) I suited up and went out and I don't think I've ever been so glad to have gone for a run. Four and some miles in the driving snow, and not another runner in sight until I got halfway across the Pleasure Bay causeway. He and I gave each other a look of solidarity and went on our respective ways. And I thought that I may not be built for speed, or for distance, but maybe I can be built for sheer stubborn, illogical determination.
The wind was directly and powerfully to my right as I crossed the bay, and I got snowflake after snowflake directly in my eyeballs. Which isn't really that bad.
As I made my trudging final steps in front of the K Street gym, I decided then and there that if there is a marathon on my 30th birthday, anywhere in the world, I am going there and I am running it.

Race report : Feaster Five

2008-12-01T10:29:00.000-05:00

46:52 net time / 9:26 per mile

There was a huge crown on Thanksgiving morning, a perfectly sunny & cool day for a run. It took me a couple minutes to even shuffle to the start, but eventually I got some elbow room and even ended up passing a few people (not just walkers and babies, either!). I think I managed to run each mile faster than the previous and was amazed to come in under 50 minutes on the clock. After getting my adjusted chip time, I was pretty pleased, considering it was such a hilly course. I realized I've come to the point where I enjoy running, and it's not like it isn't a challenge, but I really could push myself harder.
Anyway, I got my pie at the end, which really tickled me pink. I don't even know if I'll end up eating it.

Probably my last race of the year, unless I decide to do the Jolly Jaunt this weekend.

Well well well...

2008-11-19T14:41:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I ran 2.9 miles on the dreadmill at an average pace of 8:55/mile.
Well hells yes. I guess there's a little bit o'badass in me after all.
I don't know if it's a bad old joke (the kind Dads learn at Dad Camp) or an episode of Looney Tunes, but there's some saying about hitting yourself in the head with a hammer because it feels so good when you stop. Same feeling? Fast treadmill running.

Anyhoo, I'm scarfing down ramen for lunch like it's my job. Why? Because it's all I can afford. Seriously. I've been assuming the economy wasn't affecting me, but then my brother brought it to my attention that the price of Tostitos cheese dip has gone up 80 cents in the past month or so. I'm sure that's some sort of sacrelige.
Also, the protein portion of my lunch today was a bag of honey roasted peanuts. Thank heavens for 7-11!

Back on the horse

2008-11-11T17:54:00.000-05:00

I took it easy for (most) of the week after the half. Wednesday, I tried some speed intervals on the treadmill and made it about 20 minutes before giving up and moving along to some kettlebell squats. Bad idea. I'm just now getting over Tight Biker Shorts of Pain. Anyhoos, I decided to get back on the road last night, as it was becoming painfully obvious that I am one of those "running is cheaper than therapy" folks. I rushed home after class, threw on some leggings (more of the Lindsay Lohan variety than the running tights variety) and a tech shirt and headband and headed off to my regular route. I was waylaid about 4 minutes in by intense side stitching across my entire abdomen, but continued to shuffle along for awhile, and forced myself to go on for about 20 minutes by taking my usual route over the causeway, which is kind of scary at night. I never want to stop when running in the pitch-black and windy over Pleasure Bay. I got to the mainland again and had to stop, limping home by way of Medal of Honor Park. Still, it was enough to take the edge off my life & coffee-induced anxiety. Ahhhhh.
My roommate just ran the NY Marathon and seems to think I can run a marathon too. While he insists that it's all mental, I insist that I don't run on my brain, I run on my feet and at the end of 26.2 miles, I would likely no longer have feet.
Though it can't be too much crazier than going to Grad school, which I'm also contemplating. Speaking of which, I should get back to writing this paper instead of blogging.

TiART : Steeplechasing life

2008-11-06T19:10:00.000-05:00

For my first Take it and Run Thursday, it seems appropriate that this week's theme is "Running Through Transitions", as I've consistently struggled with keeping on track during transitions of many kinds, and also as I'm devising my training/running plan for the coming winter months to ensure I don't let myself get derailed by life's little surprises.

There was a time, not too long ago, when I glibly listed my weaknesses as "wildberry skittles, younger men, and quitting." Hence the title of this blog. It's a strange affliction to have, and probably even stranger to realize and label like that. Hello, my name is Tess, and I am a recovering quitaholic.
Not only was it impossible for me to stick to anything, I enjoyed giving up on it. Every difficulty, every transition in life, was an excuse to drop something. Whether it be a college class (I dropped out twice, switched schools and switched back, shuffled my schedule so often each semester that I'd attended about 20 different classes in the first two weeks of school), a job (I've had some doozies), boyfriends (more doozies), apartments, even leaving a boring party without telling anyone gave me some sort of strange rush. I even took up smoking (GROSS) for a year just to prove I could quit cold turkey.

Running - exercise in general, was always a victim of my quitaholism. Any time I was going through any kind of challenge in life, I always quit exercise. And with all the transferring, and moving, and breaking up I was apparently doing during the college years, I had an endless stream of excuses to stop my almost-blossoming running habit, which at the time was just a couple pitiful weekly jogs around Beaver Lake and a dreamy notion of how awesome it might be to run a WHOLE 5K.

Fast forward to well, now, and I'm four days off running my first half marathon, and idea that six years ago (heck, five days ago) seemed not only impossible but laughable. Even mythical, like unicorns and sea creatures. But I did it, after not even a year of running steady. And I somehow started running for real on the cusp of what ended up being a staggering stream of transitions, and kept on running through all of them.
I left a job and started a new one, moved apartments (and was homeless for a month), went through the worst breakup ever, had my next apartment explode and was homeless again for another month, lost a couple close friends, awkwardly regained some, and too many other strange and twisting changes to mention. Somehow, for the first time, I managed to run through them all, instead of using them as excuses not to run. And now, instead of wanting to quit when the going gets tough, I want to run.
Go figure. When the going gets tough, the tough get running.

I've started looking at life not as a highway (zing, Tom Cochrane!) where every challenge is an opportunity to take the nearest exit and get some McDonalds, but as a long steeplechase where challenging transitions are more like water hazards or hurdles. Without the momentum I get from running, I wouldn't be able to scale the obstacles in my path.

This post was written as a part of
Take it and Run Thursday, courtesy of Runners' Lounge.

Race Report : Manchester City Half Marathon

2008-11-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

I wish I could go back in time and tell my 4 years ago self, or even my 1 year ago self, that I would one day run a 13.1 mile race. Past self would have thought that was SUCH a funny joke.
I remember when my loftiest goal was to run a 5k. When I spent the summer of 2004 struggling half a mile around the lake before a stubborn side stitch always sent me home. It was a goal so seemingly unattainable at the time. So I always quit running, over and over again.

Yet here I was, on Sunday, running the Manchester City Half Marathon
Having no race-day pickup actually worked out pretty well. I went to the expo on Saturday to get my number and chip and race shirt. Unfortunately, they were out of all but Large and XL shirt, which would have been fine if the shirts weren't nice, but they were really nice long-sleeved half-zip tech shirts with a subtle logo. I ended up giving mine to my brother, even though he never comes to see me run because that would mean he had to get up in the morning.

Yesterday I woke up rested at 6am (thank you, Standard Time), had some oatmeal, and put on way too many layers. I always make this mistake, but I suppose I'm still a beginner. Anyway, I dressed head to toe in brown spandex, ensuring that I looked like a giant poop. Great. I also had a stocking cap, gloves, and my awesome new Nathan fannypack thingo to carry my Gu and iPod (not for listening, just for timing since I don't have a fancy watch).
After guzzling down a cup of coffee and several bottles of water, I was quite concerned to see the shortage of portapotties and the long lines 15 minutes before race start. Still, runners are nothing if not fast, even in the bathroom, so we all managed to make it to the start and the race started on time at 8:50.
The lack of shirts in my size and the toilet sitch made me slightly worried that this would be disorganized disaster of a race, but I was very wrong. The volunteers and police officers were AWESOME, especially as the course was not closed to traffic and they had to maintain the delicate balance of letting the runners pass unfettered while keeping the fine drivers of ManchVegas from running any of us over in a fit of road rage. Excellent job to all.

Anyway, the course. It was scenic, both urban & suburban, and J.C. of A., they were NOT KIDDING about the hills. OW.
I was surprised at the section of the course that was entirely trails, in Livingston park. That was unexpected. We veered off through the woods and around a small lake for several minutes near mile 6. The pack had dispersed enough that nobody was on anyone else's heels and while I spent most of the time making sure I didn't trip over an unearthed tree root and biff it, I enjoyed the break from pavement.

I started to struggle around mile 9, and by 10 I was running entirely on autopilot. There was a giant, sloping, winding hill right around mile 8 and it pretty much zapped me. I shuffled through mile 9 and when I saw the marker for 10 I knew I was in uncharted territory and started to make some sort of lame Star Trek joke about boldly going where I hadn't gone before, and then giggling to myself, and then realizing I was starting to lose my mind. There were a couple short hills and then by mile 11 it was pretty much all straight or downhill from there. After I passed marker 11, I felt like I had a vast desert to cross before the end, but before I knew it I was passing marker 12, and realized that I was going to finish this thing, and started to cry a little.
I kicked it up a tiny bit near the finish, but the truth is, I had nothing left. I didn't cross the finish line shuffling, but I didn't cross it sprinting either.
My mom was there with her camera, and she gave me a high five. I ripped my chip off my shoe and shuffled over to get my medal (!).
I posted a 2:15ish gun time. I don't know if they're going to post chip times, but mine was definitely faster. Even with the gun time, I managed to average 10:20 per mile, despite all the uphills and the trail portion, so I'm okay with that. I didn't stop running.

Results

After some free chili, a warm bath, and a nap, I headed back to Manch to meet up with the bro at the Strangebrew. His best friend was having an engagement party and it was $2.50 beer night. Gotta love a place that will just pour you an entire pint of 8% Russian Imperial Stout (that just happens to be brewed in your small hometown) for $2.50, and also has free popcorn. Ah, the land of the free.
I also got to overhear my brother tell everyone in earshot that his sister had run a half marathon, which was neat.

Looking forward (as I started to do around mile 7), I don't think a full marathon is in the cards for me, at least not yet. I'd do another half, for sure. I think I'm going to spend the winter trying to get faster and stronger and see how much better I can come out on the other side.

Boo!

2008-10-31T13:33:00.000-04:00

Much as I expected, after almost an entire week of not running (*tear*), my hip feels good as new. However, I also feel sluggish and cranky. Possibly because I've been eating myself into a sugar coma pretty much every day this week. Halloween week was not the best week to try and eat healthy. Especially since I'm in charge of buying the candy for my office, and I take that responsibility very seriously.

Anyway, speaking of candy, I love it so much I'm dressing up as it for Halloween. My friend Jenna & I are being candy corn and indian corn (I'm the candy corn).
We're having a Halloween party tonight in the new apartment, and everyone seems really excited about it. As they should be, it's going to be awesome.
My roommate is being the Reading Rainbow (green dress, blue tights, rainbow belt, rainbow bangles, red necklace, purple shoes, a copy of Frankenstein in her pocket, and a pin with a picture of Levar Burton on it). My brother is being Party Fowl - he's going to dress up like a chicken and wear an obnoxious slogan tee, sunglasses indoors, man jewelry, maybe some glowsticks. I told him he should also spill a beer on himself (get it?).

Anyway, I'm restraining myself this weekend and will try my best to get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow I'm heading home, dad is going to take me to the race expo in Manch-Vegas and then I'm going to hit the hay early before the race on Sunday!
I'm not feeling all that confident about it, to tell you the truth, especially since I haven't run this week. But at least I'm not limping and snarking around like Dr. Gregory House, M.D. and wishing that I too had a sweet pimp cane.
Anyway, it's going to be a beautiful day and a fun race and at the end of it I'm going to get a friggin' medal so I guess I can't complain. And after that I'm going to drink $2 microbrew drafts at Strangebrew, so I definitely can't complain.

Happy Halloween and happy running!

Thanks, Lance.

2008-10-26T20:53:00.000-04:00

I've been hearing a lot of those "Congratulations, that was your longest workout yet!" celebrity encouragements from my iPod for the last couple weeks because, well, every Sunday has been my longest run yet. Today it was Lance Armstrong congratulating me, last week it was Joan Benoit Samuelsen. Fun.
I ran 10 miles today, my last long run before next Sunday's half marathon. It was a perfect, sunny, breezy day. Across the bridge and downtown, through the Common, down and around the Back Bay Fens, and back home. I followed that with a 10 minute soak in a bathtub full of cold water and bags of ice, while wearing a bathing suit, stocking cap, knee socks and a fleece jacket. And cursing liberally to myself through clenched teeth. After a giant bowl of pasta and a short nap, my body still feels like it has given up on me. It's not a nice feeling to be pushing through a run like this thinking that you won't be able to finish it and certainly won't be able to finish the half marathon without stopping. It's defeatist and I am exhausted and have to edit and rewrite a paper tonight. I don't want to end up just doing it tomorrow at work because I know that just perpetuates bad habits.

I read up on ball-of-foot pain on CoolRunning.com and at the internet's suggestion, cut some pads out of a foam insole and taped them behind the balls of my feet. The right one was perfectly placed and made a world of difference, while the left one could have used some adjustment. I think I'm going to try and MacGuyver them up a little bit more. Having perfect feet for dancing and perfect feet for running are two very different things.

The strategy for this coming week is to eat well and take care of myself. First order of business - eat breakfast. I don't eat enough good things in general, because I have a very light appetite. Combined with a killer sweet tooth and high metabolism, that means most of my caloric intake is comprised of skittles, cupcakes, and pumpkin spice lattes. Because those things are delicious and make me happy. However, they don't make my body happy. First order of business - eat breakfast. As much as the idea of eating in the morning makes me queasy, I've got to teach myself to do it. Next up, more vegetables, lean protein, whole grains. I can do that for a week. And maybe if I can do it for a week, I can do it for another one!

Hipper than thou

2008-10-21T12:14:00.000-04:00

There is no denying at this point that there is something very wrong with my body. The pain has settled in my right hip, the same pain that I felt last week after not preparing for or stretching after the Tufts Health Plan 10k for Women. It had loosened up after this weekend's hike, but after last night's strugglicious 9 miles, it is back and worse than ever. I don't know what to do. I even did a short yoga routine with plenty of hip openers last night in the kitchen post-run. I can barely walk. The half marathon is in two weeks. I just want to ignore this until it's over and then figure out the next step, whether it be a massage or PT or foam rollering or ANYTHING BUT STOPPING.
The main issue for me is that I don't think I'm going to be able to finish the race. I pushed through the last three miles last night by sheer force of will, singing along to "All These Things That I've Done" through clenched teeth. My cardiovascular fitness is awesome, it's just that by mile 7 or so my legs stop working. My feet don't want to pick up off the ground, pains shoot through my knees, my feet ache, my arches fall. I don't want to entertain the idea that I may not be "built like a runner". My tiny, delicate, high arched feet might be causing these problems, but I don't know. I don't know how to fix it. I'm sick of buying new shoes every month or so, but my beautiful new Asics Nimbus 9s just aren't cutting it - my feet are swimming around in the 7.5 size, though the 7s squished my toes. Maybe I need narrow shoes. I don't know.
I'm witnessing and appreciating the affects a 9 mile run has on my mind and general sense of well-being and I don't want to lose that just because my body is being a party pooper.

The run itself was pretty fantastic. That loop around Pleasure Bay is mighty convenient, because it's about 2-3 miles but feels like nothing. It's so beautiful, even at night, and if I need to squeeze in an emergency long run, I can just loop around it twice and continue down the shore. I didn't stop once, and got up to what I'd probably estimate was a sub-9 minute mile several times. I still can't get over how beautiful Southie is at night. Looking at the city in the distance is kind of like a memory summary of my entire three years here, and then I see exactly how far I've come and how much further I have yet to go. I'm excited.

Cranky

2008-10-20T16:35:00.000-04:00

It's been exactly a week since the 10k, meaning exactly a week since my last run. If I don't go for a run soon, I seriously am going to lose my mind. I've been taking it easy for the past week because of some aches & pains that I didn't want to take too lightly. Of course, by "taking it easy" I mean "spending two hours hiking a mountain that was so steep and precariously covered in loose rocks that I had to climb up parts of it on all fours and slide down other parts on my bum."
But still, it's no substitute for a good run, and I missed my scheduled 9-miler because I was stuck in the middle of a Mexico-truck extravaganza for five hours coming home from New York. Also missed my two scheduled 5-milers and scheduled 3-miler. This is not a good way to prepare for my first half-marathon.
RAR.

I signed up for this.

2008-10-16T14:18:00.000-04:00

Note to self : Stretch. Seriously.
Saturday I ran an easy 9 miles, much to my surprise. On Monday, I ran the Tufts 10k for Women in 1:00:16 (a 9:42 pace, whoo!).
Neither of those times did I stretch, and now my right hip is out of joint or something and I am limping around all over the place.
Ow.
And I just signed up for a half-marathon in two weeks. Oh boy.

A touch of crazy

2008-10-10T15:22:00.000-04:00

Reading all these posts about "taper madness", I've come to realize there's a bit of constant crazy in every runner, isn't there? As I approach my first full year of hardish-core running, the longest commitment I've ever made to anything remotely unpleasant (including college and boyfriends), I'm becoming more conscious of the root of that madness - the fear of losing this strange compulsion I've come to love and honestly depend on, so much.
Training has been patchy lately. I've not been getting in my two 5-milers per week, and last week I missed my long run. I plan on making that up on Monday when I do the Tufts Health Plan 10k for Women.
I've also been a little sick, but I managed to bang out five miles on Tuesday night. By the end of it the only thing running was my nose (har har har - sorry, I had to go there) and I felt like I was going to collapse, but at least it happened.
What I noticed though, was something I'd been ragingly upset about all weekend and probably through the end of last week doesn't upset me as much any more since that run. It's starting to build up again, but since I know I'll be doing an 8 or 9 miler on Saturday, it's not such a big deal. Weird.
At the same time, there's this terror in the back of my mind any time I feel less than invincible, that something is going to stop me from running. Forever. That's the madness. Every time there's a cramp, or a twinge in my leg, or the sniffles, I freak out a little bit. It's going to stop me from running, and then my quitaholic nature is just going to take over and decide to not start back up again.
I've felt for the past 8 months that I've been carrying on a relay race of my entire life. Every day I run I carry the baton further, and I'm a different person every time.
Now that's crazy for ya. But I'll take it.

Oops

2008-09-29T18:48:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I accidentally ran almost 9 miles. Having a destination in mind makes it all the more fun for me. My friend S who is getting married next weekend needed some help putting together placetags and programs, and like all brides-to-be, I'm sure she relished the thought of some hands-on help from a sweaty, stinky running pal. Soooo, off I went to Davis Square with my carefully mapped 7.1 mile route.

My schedule said 7, and I was nervous because that would be the longest distance I'd run in training (not counting the Falmouth Road Race). My legs felt like lead and it was pouring rain, but I slogged along through Southie, through downtown, through the North End, through Beacon Hill, over the bridge into Cambridge, up over the ever-sketch McGrath Hwy bridge, and when I got under said bridge and felt too much like I was going to end up in the opening scene of an episode of CSI, I hightailed it down Somerville Ave and got lost. I just kept pathetically chugging down Mass Ave until I started to feel like maybe I was about to end up in Medford, and that was Not Good. It was a tough run, but I was not expecting to see 9.2 miles when I looked at my iPod. Luckily, I called S and she directed me down a side street and I only had to backtrack a bit. I stopped by the corner store to get a delicious Gatorade G2, only to find they had a debit card minumum and I had no cash. I must have looked so crushed, drowned-ratty, and bedraggled, because the cashier gave it to me for free and said I should just get him "next time". Of course I'll be taking the T out to Davis again to give him his 1.25, because that kind of awesomeness is rare these days. And it was a DELICIOUS beverage.

Tonight I WILL do my Stretch & Strengthen, even if that's just a couple downward dogs and some pushups.

Iron unpumped

2008-09-23T09:39:00.000-04:00

At my weekend gym, someone colorformed a pumpkin face onto a big orange kettlebell. There is no way I would ever be able to lift that kettlebell, but part of me feels like I am neglecting it anyway, because of that cheerful pumpkin face. I've been running regularly, and apparently it's paying off, but I haven't done any cross-training in weeks and I should really remedy that.

One of my major problems with weightlifting is that I go all out, and that results in serious pain in a couple days. If I continued to workout regularly, I would get used to it and wouldn't be in agony for five days after I did squats, but doing aforementioned squats makes my lower body hurt so badly that I can't do squats for five days. It's a vicious cycle. Here's a tip that is SO EASY and works SO WELL and yet for some reason I don't do it - Do squats while brushing your teeth, and counter pushups while swishing mouthwash (if you use it). If I do this regularly, it seriously helps me keep my legs and arms used to these movements without adding extra weight, when I do add the weight for a real workout my resulting pain level a much more manageable "Badass" rather than a crippling "Geriatric".

Suddy 5-miler

2008-09-21T14:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I crushed my 5-mile PR by over five minutes.
45:50
9:10/mile
Wheeeee!

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?

2008-09-15T11:21:00.000-04:00

Yesterday marked the first of my fall running adventure expeditions. I'm always pretty excited for football season, not because I'm a huge football fan, but because I always go to my brother's house and watch the Patriots while drinking craft brews and eating pizza. It's always a good time, and even though we're have now entered the Matt Cassel Zone, there's still beer and pizza and my brother & friends.
When I started training for this half thing, I devised the brilliant plan to take the T out to a certain pre-decided stop and run the rest of the way to his house, and then watch the game. It's the perfect Sunday plan!

I have to say, I was in absolutely no mood to run yesterday. But I threw on all my "fancy running gear" (which is what my brother calls spandex) and set off. I'd mapped out a 6-mile route that started at Coolidge Corner in Brookline and ended up at Pat's house in Newton Upper Falls. Since I'd only really been running the same Southie loop, this was a nice change of scenery. The weather wasn't great, it was disgustingly humid but also really windy and occasionally rainy. I'd worn a light jacket, which made things even stickier, but I didn't want to get caught in the rain or a sudden change in temperature. I struggled up Beacon Street and past the Chestnut Hill Reservoir, but once I got around the Reservoir and started getting into new territory, things started looking up. Especially after the big hill right after the Reservoir. It was mostly flat or downhill after that, and I got into my groove, listening to the latest podcast of "This American Life". By the time I got past the 4 mile mark, I was breezing along and enjoying the unique scenery of Newton. By the time I got to 6, it turns out I'd overrun my destination and ended up trying to crawl through some overgrown vines and muddy puddles near the route 9 bridge. I had to backtrack and treated myself to a tasty grape gatorade G2 and a couple of bananas.
And Lance Armstrong came on my iPod and congratulated me on my longest workout yet :)
6.04 miles
56:28
9:20/mile
(though it was probably inflated by that liar Nike+, I'm pretty proud of myself.)

Things I need

2008-09-10T09:39:00.000-04:00

1. A plan.
Last night as I was running around in the dark, I was reminded yet again that I need to formulate a different strategy for the coming months. It's not going to be smart or even possible at times to do 4-mile runs at 10:30 pm in November. It's going to be extremely cold, dark, and unpleasant. On the upside, there probably won't be as many ne'erdoell youngsters hanging about under the streetlamps.
My options are few. I can just continue to run at night, I can run indoors (UGGGGHZ), or I can run in the morning before work (DOUBLE TRIPLE UGGGGHZZZZ). In addition to the night bit, I'm going to have to worry about the cold and snow soon. Cold air + my lungs = sometimes severe coughing fits due to something a Scottish doctor called "reactive airway disease" (which I developed over ten years ago while living in a country where everyone smokes in public). It is NHS diagnosed so I take it with a grain of salt, but still. Something to think about. I'll at least be purchasing some nice winter running clothes - mainly tights, gloves, and something for my ears. So at least I get a field trip to the New Balance Outlet out of this.

2. New shoes.
While they're generally fine, my Asics Equation 2s need to be replaced and upgraded. After going through several pairs of unsatisfactory shoes, I've found that the Asics fit my feet the best by far of any, but they still aren't exactly what I need. I need more cushioning, especially in the forefoot. Sometimes my current sneaks make me feel like I am forcefully applying the ball of my foot directly to the concrete of the sidewalk. The girl at Marathon Sports told me I have perfect biomechanics, but I think I might need a touch of stability because of how small my feet are - when I get fatigued they tend to roll in to take the pressure off my ankles. I'm going to look at the Nimbus (though it might as well be plated in solid gold) and the Adidas Supernova Cushion (which I had good luck with back in college, I memory serves me correctly).

3. A crazy running buddy (or several).
I don't need someone to train with - while I've gotten over my complex about running with people, I mostly prefer to run alone, especially given my preference for wacky running conditions (dark, rain, large bridges with water on both sides and no lights). But I would really like to have a buddy who would do races with me, and not just local ones. For example, I'd love to know someone crazy enough to take the ferry out to Martha's Vineyard this Sunday to run the the Vineyard Haven Run to the Chop 5k with me. Or go to Portland, Maine. It's not that I mind racing alone, it would just be more fun travel-wise. My bro is too cranky and I always have to pay his race fees (though he is my best running pal), roommate C is too fast and she's busy training for a tri, roommate D is also too fast and training for a marathon. Nobody else I know runs. Or like to take crazy random road/ferry trips.

4. Speed.
I have a need for speed. Not for any real competitive reason, I'm never going to be FAST. It's just getting slightly ridiculous that no matter what I do and how long I've been running, I'm still stuck at a 10 min/mile average (Nike lies so I try not to listen to its sweet siren song of 8:30 miles. Last night I did some intervals at the end of my run and let me tell you, I was blaaaazing along. Still, it was just under a 10 minute mile average for those four miles. What gives? However, speed intervals are definitely a faster way to get home, so I'll be keeping those in my arsenal. Perhaps I also have to find a track? We shall see.

5. Better food.
When I first starting "seriously" training (anything that involves a calendar with stuff written on it that regards some action on my part I consider "serious") I went first became totally ravenous. It's settled down a bit now, and I've gone back to my ways of eating candy for at least two meals per day. Not okay. I need to base my diet around healthy things. Luckily, I have access to the school cafeteria for cheaps and can get on a decent meal plan for staff and load up on salad and delicious veggie pastas and perhaps take a banana for the road.

Race report - Thompson Island 4k

2008-09-04T22:44:00.000-04:00

Busytimes.

I didn't even ask for the afternoon off, but I had roped my bro into doing the Thompson Island 4k, which kicked off at 3:30. We had to both sneak out of work to make it to the ferry, which took us on a leisurely ride out to the island. Pat was super cranky because his knee has been hurting for a really long time, and because he was hungover, and because he hadn't asked for the day off. When we got there, I made him go over to the sports chiropractors table. The girl helped stretch him out and massaged his leg and just like I had thought, he has ITB syndrome. In fact, so bad that the chiro girl was calling over all her co-workers to feel his scar tissue.
So hey kids, don't run on old crappy shoes for a year. Mkay?

The race itself sucked. I'm not going to mince words here. It was severely unfun. I took off too fast, there were tonnnns of hills (as it was a trail race on an island) and it was possibly one of the hottest days this summer despite being September. My lungs were burning. I managed to get through a mile without walking, but after that I had a couple spots when I just had to stop. My mouth was full of dirt, I was sweating like a hoss, and I couldn't even enjoy the beautiful view because I had to look at the ground to make sure I didn't step into a hole or on a rock.
I honestly thought I might not make it. Also, probably should have eaten more than a slice of watermelon and a hunk of cheese all day. Oops.
Soon enough, it was over, and I'd earned myself a nice crappy time but not anything to be proud of. Not last though.
It's always the races with free beer and food that I do the worst at.
But I still get the free beer and food and t-shirt, and in this case, and awesome picnic on a friggin' island on a Thursday when I otherwise would have been at work.
So, awesome.
I need to find a running club or something. I just need to get better, take it to the next level, whatever you want to call it. I shouldn't be crapping out on a 2.5 mile run.

Anyway, back to watching the politics!

Faster with family

2008-08-29T10:10:00.000-04:00

When I first started running, the idea of running with someone else was kind of scary and just not something I wanted to do. That's why I adjusted my typical "I want to run a 5K" goal to "I want to be able to run the 5K distance but not actually do a race because that would mean running with people". Ironically, changing that goal to better suit my abilities at the time is what gave me the confidence to actually run my first 5k race, and the subsequent five races I've run this year to date.
However, I've still not been one to run with other folks aside from at races. But, my brother has been getting more into running since I started (it's contagious!), and we've talked about doing a short run together for awhile and since I love my new running route in Southie, he came out to visit last night and we did a 3-mile loop.
Pat had to stop after about a mile or so and we walked the rest of it, since he's been plagued with knee pain. (which sounds very much like ITB syndrome, but he refuses to go to the doctor. I have e-mailed all our friends at his work and instructed them to harass them until he makes an appt.)
So we only really managed about a mile run, but hoo boy was that the fastest and most consistent mile I've ever run. My bro is 6'4" with long legs and I am most decidedly not that. His slow jog is my all-out sprint.
This morning I was reading this post, which got me thinking about running with friends. For me, it is not easier at all. It's harder, and that's probably why it's good. It's "Faster With Family".

Minor League Ouch

2008-08-26T13:59:00.000-04:00

Welcome, it is time for out weekly installment of Aches & Pains : Whinging About Stuff that Hurts. It's a nice time for a break from all that wacky positive self-talk. Let's dive right in.

-Saturday is my cross training day. I hate cross training, because that usually means I have to go to the gym. I really hate the gym. Last Saturday I used the stationary bike for half an hour. It wasn't much fun, especially because the only thing on TV was that Lifetime movie about Amy Fisher starring Alyssa Milano. I kind of wanted to light myself on fire.
This past Saturday, I decided I didn't want to go to the gym and that I'd be "lazy" and stay home and do a kettlebell circuit for 30 minutes while watching the Red Sox get their arses handed to them. That's basically 30 straight minutes of minor squatting and swinging around 15 solid pounds of iron. Throw in some pushups and lunges and stuff, and you know what you get two days later? That's right, Tight Biker Shorts of Pain. I had a good 4 mile run on Sunday, but that didn't really help the TBSoP sitch. Currently I am hobbling around like an old cowboy. Stretching would probably be a good idea, I should get on that.

-Tuesday on my schedule says "2 miles or cross". So today I strapped on my trusty backpack again and ran to work. Boy, was it a perfect morning for a run. Sunny, cool, breezy. The problem is, I can not run in the morning. That worries me in and of itself, but is a discussion for another time. Anyway, I rolled my L.A. out of bed this morning, threw on my clothes and backpack, had some iced coffee and set off. It was tough. Yes, my 2-mile run is the toughest run of the week. Maybe because I had a backpack on, maybe because of the TBSoP, maybe because I had the wind in my face the ENTIRE WAY, maybe because I kept running past people walking around in their work clothes and wanted them to think I was badass so I ran faster than I should. It. Was. Harrrrd. To add insult to injury, I totally ate pavement right in front of South Station in the middle of the biggest crowd of suits ever. I did my best not to look at any of them and just got up and kept running. Urgh. My palms are all skinned.

-My knees are starting to bother me. I'm a bit oversensitive to pain since I started running, because I've historically had a habit of ignoring stuff until it turns out I have two sprained wrists or pneumonia or whatnot. So every time I have a twinge, the referee in my brain throws a flag on me faster than I can blink. I don't want to develop knee problems. I also don't want to have to buy new shoes every two months, which is what seems to help every time the knees start wimping out.

-Speaking of shoes, mine are too small and they make my toes go numb. I'm okay with this because I'm in the minority and like my shoes to fit small, especially in the forefoot. My feet are tiny, delicate flowers made of bones and stuff and they like to be cradled closely in the confines of high tech mesh and foam and not sliding all around in a "roomy toe box". My Asics are the same size as my street shoes (7) which I believe is somewhat unusual for running shoes. I'll probably go up a half size on my next pair.

-Also my back hurts and I think I'm coming down with a cold. And I have to go to the dentist today. Wah.

Running vs. jelly beans

2008-08-20T13:49:00.000-04:00

Nike+ lies. But oh, what sweet lies it tells.
Look! I am so fast! Wheeeeee!
I also have absolutely no sense of pace, apparently. That's a cold hard truth right there.

This was one of those "I need to get these miles in and I'm going to run as fast as I can because it's 10:30 at night and what I really want to be doing is lying in bed eating jelly beans" runs. And I realized a few things.
1) I can run faster than I thought (but not as fast as that shifty Nike+ tells me).
2) Running faster than a 9 min/mile pace feels like an all-out-lung-busting-sprint.
3) I probably shouldn't eat candy in bed anyway.

For the love of food

2008-08-19T01:17:00.000-04:00

I have a secret. I'm not very good at secrets, so I've managed to keep it for a whole week. Sort of. I mean, I told my friend McG and she told everyone we know because she's kind of like a proud mama, so I guess it's not really a secret any more. But I digress.
Anyway, here it is, for the whole internet to witness.
I'm training for a half marathon.
That does not necessarily mean I am going to ACTUALLY RUN a half marathon. That is Crazy Talk. I am however following a training plan (the Hal Higdon Novice plan) at the end of which I will suppooooossedly be able to run 13.1 miles straight. We'll see about that. I mean, the last day of the plan does just happen to coincide with the Manchester City Marathon & Half Marathon, and I do happen to be a stone's throw away from good ol' ManchVegas. But that's just a coincidence.

Anyway, the point of this is that in order to step up my running and general fitness level, I have to step up my eating habits as well and I just don't know how to do that. I've noticed that since I started running more, I have been absolutely RAVENOUS. I don't generally have a huge appetite (especially in the summer), and I use most of that appetite eating tasty things that aren't good for me, so this newfound hungryness is kind of hard to deal with.
Yesterday was my "long run" day, and I ate a bag of butter lovers popcorn and half a pan of brownies for my after-dinner snack.
Now, I'm not sure if this is related, but this morning when I got to work and started sucking down my iced coffee as per usual, I started to feel so incredibly ill I almost didn't make it through the day. After a lunch of Pepto and saltines (reason #467 to love self-checkout) I started feeling better, but I still had to come home and take a nap.
I need sustenance. I need healthy sustenance and enough of it that I don't run out of all the healthy stuff in the house and start digging into the sour patch kids at 4pm on any given weekday. That is not going to make me feel good. At all. I'm starting to think that frankly, I can't eat vast amounts of candy any more or my blood sugar level is going to plummet, leaving my gasping for breath and dragging my feet halfway through a four mile run. And that will just not do.
I'm also wondering if I should try and give up caffeine. Just for a bit. The thought of that turns my blood to ice, but I can probably do it for a whole week. Next week. Or maybe the week after.
Also beer. But only crap beer, which I shouldn't be drinking anyway, because it is gross and I hate it. I refuse to give up Guinness. Guinness is good for me.
This should be interesting.

Dread the tread.

2008-08-13T16:17:00.001-04:00

I have always loathed the treadmill. It is evil, and I historically have partially blamed it for my running quitatude every winter. I have used it as a metaphor for my life when feeling particularly broody and existential. It is boring, it is annoying, and it hurts.
When I decided to really make the commitment to run again (by which I mean more than a mile or two, which was my former max) I took a different approach. I started my training on the treadmill in the winter. Poof, there went one quitting excuse (as this rapidly-flying summer draws to a close, it is remains to be seen how I will approach the winter months. But that is for a later date).
Many years ago when I was a youngster, I was at the gym with my baby bro and he decided to use the treadmill. He was maybe 11 or 12, and wanted to run to get ready for basketball season. Precious. Anyway, he gets on the 'mill and starts it up and starts chugging along. Soon, he realizes his shoe is untied and hops off the machine. He ties it, and hops back on. Without stopping the belt. Needless to say, he gets flung off the belt and against the wall. It was funny enough and nobody was hurt, but when I started treadmilling it up for serious back in January that image kept playing in my head like some sort of wacky Brain YouTube. I was afraid to set the darn thing above a 5mph pace lest I get thrown against the wall.
The last time I got on a treadmill was several months ago, back when it was still cold and I was still on a walk/run plan. So today when I was trying to squeeze in some quick lunchbreak miles, I went back to face my old foe.
Two miles, at a pace of between 6mph & 7mph.
And I didn't fly off.
Take that, treadmill.

Anyway. One more treadmill problem is that it kills my legs. It really really bangs the heck out of my shins. I don't know what it is, I always hear that a treadmill is an easier surface to run on, and I do most of my runs on concrete, but when I'm done with a treadmill workout my lower legs hurt something fierce. They hurt to the touch. Which I'm pretty sure is the very opposite of good.
I'm not sure what to do about that. I think I should keep my treadmill runs to a minimum of 2-3 miles, but in the winter I'm sure there will be some days I won't be able to hack it outdoors. I just won't. I'm being honest here.
The other solution is just, well, go faster. Then it'll all be over sooner. Right?

rainy day people

2008-08-12T12:04:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I ran to work this morning.
In the rain.
With a full backpack.
No big deal.

Falmouth Road Race - Race report

2008-08-11T09:21:00.000-04:00

the way i'm going to go on about this you'd think i'd run a marathon or something.

last night my landlords had a rager of a party in the backyard.
they were playing outkast & justin timberlake very very loudly.
it was still going on when i got up (notice i didn't say "woke up", that would entail sleeping) at 4:30 this morning.my dad picked me up at 5.
he'd had to stay up all night. i already had arranged a ride courtesy of the extreme generosity of a good friend/part-time superhero, but my dad insisted on taking me, i believe for the following reasons.
1) he hates the idea of me imposing on anyone who isn't in the family (understandable).
2) he felt bad about saying he'd take me and then forgetting (the forgetting is TOTALLY understandable, he and mom were kind of homeless. been there, dudes.)
3) i think he sometimes still thinks i am 14 and shouldn't have friends who are boys.
needless to say, dad was a loopy mess for the entire day, but he's generally funniest that way.

anyway, i was overly paranoid about getting there on time, and we ended up getting to the buses before 7am. there was NO traffic. so i got on the first bus which took me to the starting line, where i had approximately 3 hours to wander around, do nothing, and get really nervous. luckily, i happened to walk by a small church right as the morning mass was starting, and hung out in the back for a little bit. there was one other runner there, so i didn't feel extremely weird, but weird enough not to stay for the whole thing. still, i left with the usual sense of calm that accompanies such ventures.
that left me with about an hour and a half to stretch, use the toilet eight times, lie around on the grass, listen to other people's conversations, and barge through ridiculous crowds of people with reckless disregard for human life to try and deduce the source of where everyone was getting those free bananas (no luck).

the wheelchairs took off first, and then the elite runners (those people don't even touch the ground. they hover. it's unreal.) with close to 11,000 runners, it was more than a little congested at first, but the use of several different starting groups helped. the streets were lined with spectators, and the Hood blimp hovered above as we waited at the start.
honestly, i didn't think i was going to finish. i'd never run more than five miles, i'd been lax in my training for the past couple weeks, and i was exhausted and starving. i gave myself permission to take walk breaks if i needed to, and as long as i finished, i'd be satisfied with that. but then the gun went off, and so did i.
the race course is so gorgeous i can't even describe it. after we went up the first hill and past the lighthouse, it was a beautiful view of the ocean and then into the woods for some much-appreciated shade. after that it's pretty much all ocean again for awhile until the last mile or so which is residential and then back around another lighthouse and down a hill to the finish.i remember telling myself that i could easily do 5K and then if i had to walk, i'd walk. that went by pretty quickly, so i told myself i've done five miles and if i do just a little bit more, i can walk. next thing i know i'm passing the 6 mile marker, and when i got to the final hill (it's a doooooozy) i realized i was going to finish the whole damn thing and started grinning like an idiot. then i saw my dad on the sidelines and had to wave at him and jump around because he didn't see me. it was all downhill to the finish, which was marked by a gigantic american flag hoisted into the air by a crane. it was beautiful, and i started to tear up a little, and next thing i know, i was done and i'd finished a 7.1 mile road race without stopping or walking (except for drink water/walk fast breaks of a couple seconds, choking doesn't help anyone run faster).
i am capable of so much more than i ever thought.
1:11:24

i hear tell that the winner ran the thing in 32 minutes or something absolutely insane.but you know what was really amazing? the blind runners, those with Down Syndrome, with various disabilities, running with guides helping them to the finish. the people with knee braces on who were pushing through it anyway, the older folks who shuffled their way from start to finish. even, as my mom would so graciously say, "all the fat girls". they have more determination and perseverance in their little fingers than i do in my whole body. they were all truly inspiring. and

the spectators were amazing. they lined the streets for nearly the whole course, handing out water and spraying us with their garden hoses. rows of young children waited with their hands outstretched as if we were all famous athletes. if there's anything that keeps a sista going, it's a little-kid-high-five.

after it was over i wandered around in a haze collecting race shwag and eating popsicles. the RMH folks had a cookout, and we went to that for a bit, but dad was about to pass out so we headed home.

hilarious dad moment - dad : "I probably should lock up the car, I have half my wardrobe, a TV, and a Winchester rifle in there". (this is true, he did have all of those things in the car).

the countdown

2008-08-07T20:10:00.000-04:00

Good solid 4 miles tonight. I might even dare call it a tempo run. Aside from a block or so of shuffling, I was really chugging along. By the time I rounded the corner to home and started cooling down, I was really getting into it and felt like I could probably go a few more.
Hopefully I will still feel that way on Sunday.
Getting some knee pain, and starting to feel like my shoes are not cutting it. They're still the best shoes I've worn, I just really feel like I need to replace my shoes every 50 miles or so. Which isn't practical. Anyway I'll just try and do some stretching, and relax until Sunday!

Eating a dinner of skittles and microwave popcorn is probably NOT good pre-race nutrition...or pre-anything nutrition.

FINALLY

2008-08-03T22:05:00.000-04:00

Managed to have a good run tonight, about five miles. Lately I've been plagued with the dreaded side-stitch again, which is the reason I was never able to run in the first place. I'd found a trick to make it go away, and hadn't had any problems since but for the past week or so it was back with a vengeance and there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't something I could run through, it was more along the lines of what appendicitis is probably like. I had to shuffle home bent over. So I've just been doing my best to keep hydrated, and that seemed to work.
Months ago when I started running, I joked that the pain just migrated around my body. Once I figured out how to beat the stitch, it was my shins next. Once I got past that, it was my lungs. Then my right shoulder (weird). Every time I got rid of a pain, it'd move somewhere else.
I'll never get over how amazing the view of Boston is at sunset from the Castle Island causeway. It's breathtaking.
OMDSFLKJJSDFLKSJDFLSDKF the race is NEXT SUNDAY!

Race report - FIVE MILES

2008-07-17T23:18:00.000-04:00

Oh, hello internet. It's a lovely evening in Southie, and yours truly here just ROCKED A FIVE MILE ROAD RACE. Suck on THAT, New Year's Resolutions.

I am so ridiculously proud of myself it's kind of embarrassing.

My neighborhood is amazing. Walking home from the Expo center with a dopey smile on my face, the sun was setting across the ocean and I heard the slightly off-pitch but still dulcet tones of an aging Sinatra impersonator and all was right with the world. I still had my race number on and oldtimers with their dogs and cigars clapped for me.

While I feel like I'm getting faster, according to most race results I'm sticking at around a ten minute mile (shut up, I never said I was fast). Near the end, my whole body was tingling, my arm was numb, and I felt like I was going to throw up. Then my Amazing DenialBrainBot4000 (usually utilized to convince myself that I'm not in love with people and/or don't need any friends) took over and by the time I reached the finish chute I passed eight people and almost forgot to stop.

Considering all I've had to eat today was half a salad and a handful of trail mix, I'm pretty impressed. Though I know that's not a healthy diet. And I've been so soul-crushingly sad for the past few weeks I could barely put one foot in front of the other, much less train for a race. Or get through a single hour of a single day without crying. (More on that later, because while it pains me to write about it or admit much of what has been going on, it must be done because a life without honesty is just stupid. Life is short, and I'm pretty sure that at the end of it there's nobody handing out cookies for not talking about stuff.)

Anyway I wish my roommate was home because I want to go drink a Guinness. That counts as dinner, right?

FIVE MILES, DUDES. FIVE. That's FOUR MORE THAN ONE, which is what I could barely run six months ago.

The below photos are from around mile 4.5 or so. I love that my face is all puppies and fluffy clouds but inside I'm cursing the day I was born and wishing I could curl up for a nice nap in the middle of Day Boulevard.

Race report - Artesani Park 5k

2008-07-06T22:12:00.000-04:00

My official time has yet to be posted, but it was either a flat 30 or 29:59. A minute plus better than my last run on this same course, despite the heat and the fact I walked what I felt was a substantial part of the race. The walking was totally due to lack of mental toughness, and it makes me angry, but at the same time I must have been really hauling to still have beaten my previous time.
This race was much smaller than the last, and there was this hilarious group of Cougars (I don't know what really qualifies them as Cougars, but they were older and hotter than me so Cougs they are) gushing over the young male runners who were obviously going to win the thing with their tiny shorts and complete lack of body fat (and shirts).

New shoes

2008-07-01T11:46:00.000-04:00

On a whim, I got a new pair of running shoes on Saturday. My leg pain was getting so bad I was convinced I had compartment syndrome and that there was nothing I could do to fix it and I should stop buying new shoes because they're expensive and maybe I'm just not meant to be a runner and ARRRRRGH. But, I found these lovely Asics Equation 2s at some discount shoe store and the difference from my month-old Rykas is absolutely astounding. I mean, they've created some new problems, namely that my toes now go numb and the collar of the shoe gives me ankle blisters but those problems are all run-through-able so I don't care. For serious though, it's like I'm running on clouds. I ran a nice 4+ loop around Castle Island in the mist and at the end, I felt like I could have kept going. So, take that legs. It's just me and you now, lungs. BRING IT.

On Sunday, I went to the gym. The FitCorp has majorly stocked up on kettlebells since I started there. This is exciting. I can only go there on weekends, but I think I want to at least try to make it for one weekend day every week. Of course, I am not very smart with numbers, and so I think I thought 12kg was a lot closer to 12lbs than it actually is, and ended up squatting & military pressing 2 12kg kettlebells which I think now is closer to 50 lbs? It felt good though. There were some old guys down there who looked at me really funny as I took my shoes off and repeatedly hoisted two cannonballs over my head, and letting out the occasional very ladylike grunt.

Smuttynose Will Run for Beer 5k

2008-06-23T21:49:00.001-04:00

Smuttynose "Will Run For Beer" 5k

The best race I've been too, and yet the most unpleasant and my worst 5k time to date. Whatever though, there was free beer and really ugly race tshirts. (Seriously, guys. Comic Sans? Is it discounted or something because it's such a joke? I don't know how this stuff works. Oh well, free is free.)
The four of us (me, Claire, and racing newbies Pat and Jenna) set off for the Land of the Free at around 8:30 after some confusion about our Zipcar (mainly that it wasn't there). We arrived in plenty of time, and went to pick up our numbers (on a super-immature sidenote, Pat was dissapointed that Jenna & I got numbers 67 and 68 and he somehow got 219 even though we'd all registered at the same time. Oh, ha ha).
While the race was chip timed and pretty well organized, it was still very casual. There was a guy with a mic who just said "go!" and it got clogged up for a minute or two at the front.
It was shaping up to be a hot day. Many of the good residents of Newmarket had placed sprinklers on the side of the street and I made it my business to jump through all of them. I seriously think I might be the sweatiest skinny white girl on the planet. When I'm doing a hard run, my face gets so red people stare at me in alarm. Just sayin'.
Pat immediately took the lead of the four of us (of course), and then Claire was behind him and Jenna and I jogged together for a minute or two before I started pulling ahead of her so none of us ran together the whole time. There was a loop-around where other runners would pass us, and Claire passed me at the corner and waved, then when I came to that corner Jenna was running into the loop so I waved at her. She yelled "THIS SUCKS!" at me, apparently making a lot of friends in the back of the pack.
I managed to run mile 1, but was getting really fatigued going into mile 2. I really didn't want to walk, since that's been my main goal in all of this, but my vision started to go a bit blurry so I figured it'd be best to walk a bit so I slowed right before the water stop. I drank one cup and dumped another one on my head. The rest was kind of a blur, running through sprinklers and trying to keep my pace up but I ended up walking for probably 3 or 4 minutes on and off.
The last part was an incredible steep hill, and I charged up that, collapsing on the grass with a lame stupid time of 35:12 (11:22 min/mile). Pat did great with a 28:16, Claire did 31:02 and Jenna came charging up the hill at 35:56.
Surprisingly (or not?) we all really did want a delicious, cold, frosty beer after that. Smutty is one of my faves so I was pretty excited. There was also tons of free pizza, wings, chili, bananas, various sports drinks we lumped together as "Haterade", and of course karaoke to set the mood. We spent the rest of the afternoon drinking Shoals Pale Ale and Smutty IPA and eating pizza and chilling at the Old Stone Church. Really really good times.

All in your head

2008-06-10T16:08:00.000-04:00

I read somewhere that running any distance beyond 3 miles is all in your head. I can only really run 3 miles, so I wonder if that means I have a weak mind. That's a depressing thought, but I wouldn't doubt it. How do I make my mind stronger? Jedi mind tricks? Wiggling my ears and rolling my eyes at the same time?
Or how about just flipping running more than 3 miles? Just DOING it. Somehow, I feel like there's some secret thing I need to do, some magic spell, some person I have to become and then POOF, I'll be able to run 10 miles. Telling myself that's not true doesn't seem to get the concept through my head though. Feeling guilty and weak just discourages me into not trying anymore, and that's no good.
The physical benefits of my quasi-running are obvious. My cardiovascular fitness has improved monumentally, for instance. When I started, I'd easily break 180 bpm running an 11 minute mile, now I'm at a comfortable 140-160 running a 9 minute mile. Can't keep up the 9 minute mile for more than 5 minutes, but hey.
Maybe the key is to just stop obsessing about 5 minutes and 9 minutes and 3 miles and just run all these silly thoughts out of my head.

No Stopping Now

2008-05-16T00:25:00.000-04:00

Today I ran 4 miles. I almost didn't want to since I'd forgotten my iPod at work, and I had so much cleaning to do, and I am chock full to the brim with excuses, but I did it anyway and feel all the better for it.
It's lilac season and the Fens smelled like all of my best childhood memories. I crossed over to do the Riverway loop, and it was teeming with fluffy goslings. You really can't beat that kind of a cotton candy a rainbows evening. Not having music made me more aware of my surroundings, and looking up at the street signs that read "NO STOPPING ALLOWED" was oddly inspiring. So I didn't stop. Except when I would have otherwise been run over, which I think is fair.
No music also made me more aware of my own stride and my breathing pattern, which made me realize I really wasn't nearly as winded as I'd thought. And it also made me start humming very odd songs to myself, like old stuff from church camp, folk songs, stuff my mom made up, Christmas Carols. Before I knew it, I was home and couldn't feel my toes or my right arm.
Maybe it's just my low expectations of myself, but I'm still pretty excited that I can run more than a mile. I never in a million years thought I'd be able to run four. It's really shown me that just because something is possible, doesn't mean it's possible NOW. I always thought three miles was such a short distance that I should be able to do it right away, and that's the kind of thinking that has been derailing my progress for the last several years. It wasn't until I found a plan that enforced slow progress that I started to make any progress at all.
I am a slow learner at physical things. It always took me far longer to learn dance combinations, it took me three months to learn how to dive, and I fell thirty-seven consecutive times before I finally got up on waterskis for the first time. But you know what? Most other people would have quit long before I did. I had to get rugburns on my feet from practicing, spend hours at a time in the deep end of the pool, and faceplant into a lake thirty-seven times in a freaking row. And in the end, I accomplished what I set out to do. That, is the important thing. So I will continue to pat myself on the back for baby steps.

2008-05-05T19:48:00.000-04:00

When does it get easier? I did almost 4.5 miles today, but much of that was quick walking breaks and wanting to vomit. How do people just start running and keep going? Not worrying about their knees or lungs or stomach or the traffic or how totally insane it is to be running around in a circle for 45 minutes?
Still, I do feel kind of awesome about it now. Maybe that's some sort of answer.

Race report #2

2008-04-26T13:34:00.000-04:00

Architecture for Humanity 5K
30:52

Way too early this morning the stove caught my favorite (okay, only) coffeepot on fire. The gas flames got too big for their britches and had an unfortunate meeting with the one plastic part on the thing, and now my stove is covered in melted plastic, the kitchen smells like crap, and I am down one coffeepot. The coffee came out fine, but when your favorite coffeepot has just caught on fire, there's nothing that can't be made better with some strategic cursing and a liberal splash of whiskey. So, at around 8am, I set off slightly intoxicated and pissed off to my second 5k race of the year/my life.
Long story short, when I finished the race I was no longer either of those things, so yay running!
This was an awesome race around the Charles River out by Harvard/Allston. The weather was perfect, sunny and breezy, and the course was almost all flat. I actually passed ten people (I counted), and though I only beat my previous time by a minute and am still running at around 10 min/mile, I was quite pleased.
Nacho and his friend Matt were there, which was a very nice surprise. They waited for me at the finish line and gave me high fives and back pats, which I must say, are even better than free race t-shirts (which I did not get). Hopefully will see them again tonight.
The Charles River Cleanup event was also taking place, and many of the volunteers participating paused their work and stopped to cheer and give high fives and yell encouragement to the runners. I realized then that running piddly short charity races is probably the closest I will ever get to my childhood dream of being a professional baseball player. And that's okay with me, it's probably closer than lots of people get to their childhood dreams of being ballerina astronaut pony farmers or whatever.
I'm starting to feel like running twice this distance is maybe not as much of an impossible feat as I originally thought. Not quite ready to try it out yet though. My new shoes are awesome, and what I originally thought might be stress fractures in both my ankles doesn't seem to have gotten any worse.
My back hurts, my feet hurt, my legs hurt, and I feel good.

Marathon Monday

2008-04-21T21:23:00.000-04:00

This afternoon, as I was walking my L.A. to the gym after leaving work early for no reason, I was so inspired seeing all the marathoners limping back from the finish line. Many covered in big silver capes, like the superheroes they probably are.
So I went to the gym, pumped to slog through my typical three miles on the treadmill, only to find out, after I finished dressed, that I had not brought any socks.
After some considerable colorful language, I tried to give myself the "Do It Anyway!" pep talk, like I do when I forget my iPod or headband, but there is only so much insanity that one can pep talk oneself into. So I went home.
I think I either have to am about to have a stress fracture in my right shin. Still, I signed up for another 5K for this coming weekend, even though I haven't been able to run the distance since the last one.
This is probably a bad idea.

Motiva...what?

2008-04-17T20:05:00.000-04:00

Since finishing the race, I've been having a really hard time getting back into my running. I know it's totally mental, I know. But it doesn't help. I was jogging along at my typical 10-min mile pace today, and it was the most beautiful evening in the Fens, and there was really no reason to feel like I couldn't go on. I was just so uninspired.
Then it hit me.
Run faster.
So I ran faster.
And it felt really, really good.
The downside is, I realized that my lack of motivation was only partly mental and also partly something wrong with my lower legs, so I had to stop eventually anyway.

I need some big fluffy cloud shoes to run in.

First race

2008-04-14T10:49:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I ran my first race, The Nashua Soup Kitchen Run for Food & Shelter. Considering I never thought I'd be able to run more than a mile and haven't intentionally run with another person since 4th grade track, this was a pretty big accomplishment. All I wanted to do was finish the race without stopping, and I did that. At the finish line, I almost blacked out, but thank goodness there were tons of free sandwiches.

My mom brought me to the race, but in typical my mom fashion, she went to Dunkin' Donuts and lost track of time so when I crossed the finish line, she wasn't there. Ohhh, my mom. She came wandering into the gymnasium about fifteen minutes later saying "I'm so sorry honey, I knew you couldn't still be running because I saw all these fat girls finishing and I knew you would have beaten the fat girls." She wouldn't stop talking about "the fat girls". I kept trying to explain to her that they were probably much better runners than I, and more power to them for doing the race, but she just wouldn't saying insensitive things in her outdoor voice. So I just sat on the grass for a couple minutes trying not to throw up and then staggered into the gymnasium to get some free food, even though I could barely hold up my plate.

I need to start running some hills. That's what made this particular race so difficult, is that it had a very slight incline right at the beginning and then again at the end and it was difficult to recover from.

In conclusion, 192/297, 31:06, 10:01 pace

Resolutions

2008-04-01T21:43:00.000-04:00

So today seems as good a day as any to start a fitness blog. I kind of wish I'd started in a couple months ago when I first decided to get in shape, so I could actually track the pretty decent progress I've made, but alas I am lazy and afraid to be all gung ho about something I might forget, and then have evidence of my failure when I inevitably slink off in a cloud of shame and self-doubt.

New Year's Resolutions are a dime a dozen, and I usually don't take them too seriously, but this year I made two.
1. Be physically able to run 3.1 miles straight. I didn't have to run an actual race, just make it for that distance.
2. Drink more Guinness. I live in Boston, where everyone is at least a little Irish if only from bumping into real Irish people on the T, so this one wasn't going to be a problem.

Of course, I mostly forgot about #1.

Anyway, a couple months ago I was out on the town with a couple friends and as per usual we'd all had about seven too many Guinni (see, not a problem). Long story short, some Leprechaunesque dude gave my friend Jenna some crap about her hair for absolutely no reason, and made her cry. I tried to roundhouse kick him in the head, but failed miserably and had to settle for an emphatic "You sir, are SHORT!" and drag Jenna off while she hysterically tried to extract an apology from the loser.
I decided then and there that I must get in shape, if only to defend myself and my friends from the collar-popping douchebags who roam these city streets.

So I started running for serious. Again. I've started and stopped running/working out/etc so many times I can't even keep track. The most I'd run before this was maybe two miles at a time, and that was maybe once. I got a Nike+iPod kit and started the Health.com 5K program. I liked this training plan because it started me off with more jogging/running than the Couch to 5K and I generally like running, mostly away from things like my problems. I started with 3/2 intervals and eventually got up to 4/1 intervals with a mile pace of 13:10 and last night I ran two miles straight at 9:28. Not a huge amount of progress for almost three months and certainly not awesomely speedy, but it's the best I've ever done and I enjoy patting myself on the back and giving myself ice cream cones for my troubles. I got so excited about this, that I signed up for a 5K! It's in less than two weeks and I think I might be insane. We'll see.

Just about three weeks ago I started lifting weights. Thanks to this totally awesome site, I was able to wade through the testosterone-scented confusion surrounding weightlifting and devise a beginning plan to turn myself into an ass-kicking machine. After the initial mistake I made of doing three sets of squats and not being able to walk for a week (I actually called out of work because I couldn't climb out of bed), I think it's been going pretty well. Apparently the cure for squats is more squats.

In addition, I am trying to overcome my fear of the gym, particularly the scary scary weight room. I don't even know where it is in my gym, but if I can get used to the hamstery awfulness of the treadmill I can eventually ask a Friendly Staff Member where the weight room is and if it is scary. For now I will stick with the small & medium sized dumbbells and not mess with the big iron.

So, this is about where I am right now. I have no particular weight loss goals besides not wanting to weigh half as much as Shaq (several years ago Shaq anyway), and being continually able to fit into all the clothing I currently own.

And to drink more Guinness.